mope
To you unenlightened people, it may seem like I have fallen into procrastination in order to nurse my pent-up frustration and self-hatred.
But to an enlightened traveler of the wastelands like me, this is a spiritual journey.
I'm pretty sure I read on the Nuclear Throne wiki that after Loop 3, you get your libido back, the president dies, you get a password to a social medium where you always feel welcomed and heard, and your estranged sisters love you again.
See you there, fellow mutant.
mope
haha, no, seriously, I'm just gonna play nuclear throne and cry all evening
at least in the wasteland there's a sense that there's something that survived the explosion
mope
maybe i'll play gungeon instead
i hear that if you can hit the high dragun in the heart with a charmed bow just enough times, it'll scoop you up in its arms and let you cry while nestled against its main rocket magazines, and ask you "why can't you just open up and say you need company and reassurance, instead of couching everything in weak forced humor, surely somebody out there still loves you"
or maybe i'll find a game where tears kill everything
mope
oh wait, they made that one, binding of isaac, but it reminds me of the people i fucked everything up with
well, at least i'd start with a big power up -- zebra tears start pretty huge
mope
shit, apparently you don't get emotional catharsis until loop 3
you need the frog pistol to unlock "convince your friends that their increasing willingness to dehumanize enemies is scaring the shit out of you"
the "confident enough to walk into Transliminal without feeling like a pariah" skin for Chicken is an urban legend
and you have to beat the throne unarmed in order to get your ex-boyfriend to give you closure from the wounds he caused you when he said you were always a bad match