You know what I could really use right now?
Confuse-A-Cat. Like from the Python sketch. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2Je1CEPkUM)
@anthracite does provide a lot of good confusion services, but I need a professional. Maybe it's time to hit the legendary Psychotronic Film room at Scarecrow video. Or see how deep I can get into Deep Youtube.