I have just transferred to a new team within the River Tribe, and publicly transitioned. Work knows me by my True-er name. It's my first day with my new team.

I am met in the lobby by a very energetic NB person, who tells me she prefers she/her pronouns, and she's here to start her first day with her manager, who is me.

I know I don't get any direct reports and take her up to see my manager before my first standup with the new team. We get her sorted out. Turns out she's here for an interview, not a first day, but I do like her enthusiastic power move. I'm not her first interview loop of the day, and I redirect her upstairs to her conference room.

Then the stand up happens. The rest of my manager's team is there, chatting. I realize I don't have a pencil or a notebook. As I get up, one of the team addresses me. "You must be the panty pervert," she says out loud. I don't have a response, cause I'm working on getting a notebook and a pencil. The pencil cup bites me when I go to grab one. Turns out it has a spider living amongst the pencils, because no one has touched it in months.

I get back to the briefing table and say in response, "You must be the transphobe."

The whole table goes "Oooooooooh!" like I just told a risky joke on my comedy special. Her coworker says to here something along the lines of "I bet you didn't mean to say that out loud"

And my response was "no, yeah. that mic was totally on."

And then I woke up.