identity stuff
After yesterday morning's identity crisis and help from several different people (seriously, thank you for that, you guys are wonderful), I've kind of come to realize that my predecessors, Xolroc and Rosemary, are not 100% merged as I had thought. Rather, they represent two aspects of my personality, two different 'modes' I can be in. Not distinct individuals, not anymore, but like... Perhaps, two different frontends for a single backend?
identity stuff
I want to put more stuff about this here, but I don't know what I've managed to figure out yet and what I'm just thinking about, trying to figure out if it feels right.
I am definitely singular, though. I, not we. The possibility exists, though, I think, for some temporary separation under stress, going from 95% merged to like 75% merged or so. I... hope the re-merging after those separations, if they happen, is less difficult and traumatic than the first merge.
identity stuff
@Felthry This reminds me of my own experience a lot. I spent (and spend) a lot of time working on reintegrating pieces of myself.
identity stuff
@zetasyanthis I'm trying to get comfortable with just... accepting who and what I am, and not worrying too much about it. But that's hard.
identity stuff
@Felthry That is entirely fair. On a slight tangent, you might really like this book series.
Check out this book on Goodreads: A Madness of Angels (Matthew Swift, #1) https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6186355-a-madness-of-angels
identity stuff
@Felthry Plays around with multiple identities, and is generally just beyond awesome. <3
identity stuff
@zetasyanthis I don't know if I'll end up reading it (My choice of books is usually not person-focused as much as event-focused or world-focused) but I might. Thanks for the recommendation!
identity stuff
@Felthry Entirely fair. Just shared it because your story made me remember it. <3
identity stuff
I can't have normal problems, can I?
I don't even know if this is a problem or a solution yet. It kind of might be helping? Maybe?? Or it could be worsening anxiety. It's hard to tell. Brains are weird.