Kiwifarms musings, recovering from hate
Reading the KiwiFarms forums is incredibly emotionally exhausting these days, and it's not like I can just ignore them anymore when they occasionally target folks close to me, and are known to produce mass shooters.
It's hard to believe that this sort of toxicity is what I used to surround myself with, and that it is so normalized in that sort of discourse. In a lot of ways, they hurt themselves and those close to them by getting involved in this, almost as much as they hurt their victims.
There are some people who I know from a past life in there who genuinely depress me, because they're heading straight towards a total life burnout stage and I can't help but wonder how much happier they'd be if they could just leave the fear and resentment of the other behind. I can tell that they are hiding a lot of things about themselves for fear of being torn apart by their own too.
re: Kiwifarms musings, recovering from hate
I also have similar feelings towards Meowthkip aka Catbountry. It's really sad to see that she's fallen into the mindset that if she isn't tearing down other people, she's going to be on the chopping block herself. This all, thanks to her pathological need to prove, to her KiwiFarms peers, that she is better than the subjects covered.
She used to be such a darling too, and I can't help but feel like she ell into the same trap and pipeline that I did years ago. Only, while I managed to get out of it, she stayed in and festered in the hate.
re: Kiwifarms musings, recovering from hate
Two main patterns I noticed from the folks there are:
a) A resentment towards people who are brave enough to live our authentic selves without compromise, likely because they themselves are stuck in closets of their own.
b) Anti-intellectuals who carry their dialectic with the mentality of "If I can't understand it, it is not real/valid, and I will pretend to understand it."