update; I technically got neither burger nor shower.
I figured that moving would help more than hot water, and walked to the burger place before changing my mind and heading up the street for Vietnamese stuff. Instead of getting garlic noodles like *that* plan, I figured I'd try their spicy, spam fried rice. As soon as I got it I realized I was ravenously hungry, which probably was part of the terrible mood.
So now I'm eating spicy spam fried rice (spicy, but needs salt) and drinking kvass.
@ElectricKeet I think it may just be me, not the food, due to stress. The spam was in these tiny little panfried pieces.