MH
More often than not, I do come off as perfectly fine. But deep in the back of my mind I'm always fighting with my head.
My fucked up brain is always looking for something to latch onto and beat me into submission with it.
It's this fucked up concept where my abuser is in my head. Why? What the fuck is this thing doing? Why won't it go away?
I keep turning to my dreams to find it, but I keep coming up short.
MH
@Roady_Dragonfae my experience has been self hate is a way to redirect anger so it doesn’t go outwards; there’s a little trying to solve for mistakes which could be criticized; it’s familiar; and it justifies treating myself to things I want. Maybe some of that’s familiar?