therapy, trauma, ptsd, panic 

So one of the things I did at therapy was ask straight out, "Am I traumatized by my experiences?" and she nodded and dug out the DSM and we ran through it. She had been treating me as someone with at least borderline ptsd since I started coming in, but we went down the checklist today.

Yeah, I have a pretty significant number of symptoms. Like, a lot. I didn't really want to think of myself as being hurt that bad, but I was. Am.

And the panic stuff?

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therapy, trauma, ptsd, panic 

Turns out I just straight up have panic attacks, and when I beat them back before they really start is when they're just panic symptoms.

I really didn't want to think of myself as having been hurt this badly, but I think that was largely for machismo bullshit reasons that I didn't want to admit it. For obvious reasons I'm kinda abandoning that stance.

Hi. I survived some pretty awful shit, and I'm still learning to cope with it.

therapy, trauma, ptsd, panic 

* yesterday. Our appointment was on Saturday, I've just been rolling this around in my head for a while.

therapy, trauma, ptsd, panic 

Fairly sure most people reading this are going to have some variation on a "No duh" reaction, but hey, at least I'm addressing it now instead of just in moments of "weakness".

I got real mixed feelings about saying "survivor" since others have been through way worse that me. But it is what I aim to do.

therapy, trauma, ptsd, panic 

@Soreth *an abundance of the softest and warmest hugs they can muster* I'm proud of you for having the courage to face that, let alone announce it publicly. This is a big step. ♥️

therapy, trauma, ptsd, panic 

@Soreth Hi. I'm glad you survived. *hugs*

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