@Altivo I appreciate you're trying to help here, but I have literally been haunted by memories for the last three and a half years.

@Altivo It's okay, it's just... truisms and observations on the situation from the viewpoint of the way things "should be" are not helpful. I know how things should be. I don't get the option to have things the way they should be, which is frustrating itself. Having someone else remark on how I should be is like mentioning to someone missing a leg how they should really have a leg. It's not really useful to anybody involved.

@Altivo You don't have to be quiet. But please, don't do the 'guiding advice from the wise old source' thing like it'll work. This is a trauma issue. It takes time and pain to work out. Empathize, commiserate, sympathize. I'm trying harder than you can know to overcome something that overwhelms me completely when it rises up.