@starkatt usenet: soc.bi, alt.polyamory. IRC, EFnet specifically.
These are the places where I met Aynjel & Ian, where I met the people who eventually introduced me to my nesting partner, and who introduced me to feminism. Eventually usenet became uninhabitable and we all left for livejournal but some time along the way they got me civilized & housebroken, thankfully.
I still see some of those folks at WisCon (& occasionally on Facebook).