One of the things I've come to realize as I get older and wiser is that literally ANY belief or morality system can be used as a cudgel to beat people over the head. It's not a flaw in that belief system, it's just human nature.
It still sucks to see 'your side' being awful.
And it's really wild to me that asking people to consider the effect their actions take on other people -- especially within social justice -- often gets shot down as 'silencing' or 'tone policing'.
But what's the point of any of this if not to treat people better?
I mean, we all have our lines. And we all have our reasons for declaring certain actions or ideas intolerable. But the way we express that has to reflect the kind of people we want to be, the kind of world we want to live in, how best to take a stand.
I've certainly fallen down on my responses to things, gone further than I should have with my anger. But I think it's vitally important to treat people with a basic level of respect and dignity. If I don't feel I can do that, I simply don't engage if I can help it.
But I can't work with folks who see rage as the only response to any infraction, no matter what it is or who it's from. Context matters. Intent matters. Just because some use that as cover to act in bad faith doesn't mean it's not true.
Allies and friends will make mistakes. Sometimes, they need time and space for their understanding to evolve. They need to have conversations that move them closer to getting our experience. They need to express an imperfect understanding to get it in better shape.
We're all going through it. Just because my issues are more severe than some, it doesn't mean that their issues are nothing.
We need to treat each other with way more compassion. All of us. Full stop.
@jakebe Thank you for saying this. All of this.
And I wish we, as progressives, had more compassion for the people who are earnestly trying to change. Yeah, we're in a lot of trouble, and I have a lot more to worry about than most allies, but I'm not interested in dismissing the difficulties of their experience.