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lifehack: state mundane facts about yourself as though they're incredible supernatural phenomena

"scientists cannot explain how much i like coffee"

@typhlosion Or for a more conspiratorial route: "scientists will not explain how much you like coffee"

@BatElite scientists refuse to believe the truth behind how much you like coffee

@typhlosion @BatElite "Scientists hate her! Local enby moff uses this ONE WEIRD TRICK to drink infinite coffee! Click here!"

@typhlosion every night i fall unconscious for 5 to 8 hours and hallucinate situations both tame and fantastic, that i then forget minutes after coming to. no doctor can explain why

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