Harm/emotional discourse
Something I've noticed a lot lately is that there's been a lot of folks navigating harm (to them) who are themselves causing harm as they navigate it
I hope awoo is a good place for this - but the latest thing that happened has left me questioning and wanting to do better
But y'all- and not just awoo.space- let's do good to try to recognize when someone is harmed even if it's bc of their subjective experience and not your fault- and help em heal if we can
Harm/emotional discourse
@vahnj This is an important but difficult topic. I've recently been badly burned from a similar situation. >..<
When one party is harmed by another unintentionally and lashes out at them as though that harm were intentional, you end up with two hurt parties, a lot of blame being assigned, and few paths to resolution.
I think the solution to that problem is a well established path for authoritative mediation, but that requires full cooperation & trust from both parties.
Harm/emotional discourse
@mawr it also requires a community that's open to navigating harm- which is super hard to do, because publicly admitting harm historically leads to more harm from others, which has been especially true on twitter (a similar format to here)
so like- i get that this is hard- but i want us to at least think about it, and try
Harm/emotional discourse
@vahnj Fully agreed on all fronts.
The best thing I can offer as advice here is to establish that as a firm guideline/policy and set it as a clear expectation so that later attempts to guide those situations into mediation aren't seen as potentially acting in bad faith.
Speaking from personal experience.
Harm/emotional discourse
@mawr well- that's exactly the kind of thing our CoC is set up to do :)
Harm/emotional discourse
@vahnj @mawr The larger a community gets, the harder this becomes. Sometimes, people need space from those who have harmed them, intentionally or not. I think that's one of the upsides of mastadon, is that we can have separated communities. These little microcommunities are vital to feeling free to navigate harm safely, I feel