*thinking*
Not feeling safe in public is a big reason my fashion style is so plain
@vahnj As someone who presents in a way that is very obviously queer, I feel super unsafe in public spaces that aren't specifically known for being queer friendly.
...but now that I'm sort of out in presentation, the thought of going back to plain style makes me far more uncomfortable than the fear & vulnerability does.
I think if I didn't have a stable and reliable source of income, I'd feel differently.
@mawr v happy for you :D
@Ulfra_Wolfe in fashion stuff?
@vahnj @Ulfra_Wolfe That can be a hard feeling to fight. I've struggled with it most of my life. Sympathies.
@literorrery @Ulfra_Wolfe I'm even saying all this as a cis guy so I'm real sorry you struggle with this T_T
@Ulfra_Wolfe @vahnj Mark Twain's quotation about the child's toy and the king's crown seems appropriate here. Pain doesn't compare in any absolute sense; the scopes are too different, the meanings too vast. What matters is that you hurt, and you shouldn't hurt. I see your hurt, and I acknowledge both its existence and its wrongness. You shouldn't feel bad, or be made to feel bad, over wanting to dig up the garden and replant. You're allowed to be you.
@vahnj this this this this this
@vahnj Also for me I stick out already due to other things (yay body shaming) do the less attention I can draw to myself the less I feel everybody's pointing and laughing at me behind my back.
@Mycroft 100% empathize with this
It took me a long ass time to convince myself to get earrings and I'm so glad I did. they center me a lot