mh (~), climate change (incidental; inadvertently subtooty <3 )
Heh, neat. My bout of suicidal ideation, self-loathing, and painful nostalgia has been completely replaced by running around flailing over the sheer amount of work I have to do.
Work is good. I like work. I should probably be really concerned that next to Peggy, Parallax, and the constant risk of being washed into the Gulf, it's the most exciting thing in my life right now.
Oops, there it goes again. Lookit all those friends I COULD have still had if I weren't such a mouthy dago asshole. Lookit that pile of flaming rubble that used to be a kink and/or social life. Look at all that art I've accumulated that's too painful to look at now.
Oh, well, sounds like we're all gonna be dead in 30 years anyhow, and I just can't find it in my heart not to root for the other team here, whoever the fuck they are. Palmetto bugs, if my current environs are any indication. =>_<=
I mean, sorry, after everything that's gone down in the last 150 years, you really can't expect a tiger manqué to see human extinction as anything but a good laugh. Turnabout is fair play, motherfuckers.
mh (~), climate change (incidental; inadvertently subtooty <3 )
@zebratron2084 I'm digging out my office, and making progress. Throwing a lot of old stuff away.
Hit a sketchbook of sketches of Moment playing with friends. Pushing their buttons. No point in sanding off the serial numbers and changing fur patterns, y'know, it's... I know who they were. And there's A Lot Of Stuff Attached There.
So. Art that's too painful to look at. Yeah.
That knocked me out of my tree.
And even if my current rehabilitation attempt works, how long do I have to learn to draw again, again? For what? For who?
What's the point?
I used to be able to at least talk people into a little hope. I can't do that any more, it goes wrong. Badly.
I don't know.
re: mh (~), climate change (incidental; inadvertently subtooty <3 )
@Momentrabbit *hugs tight*
OK, but counterpoint... there's a little black pointy sculpture on my desk that brings me joy and happiness every single time I see Her.
If that ain't hope, I dunno what is, babe. And you brought that to me.
I really need to get a proper phone so I can send you a snapshot of Antler Mom in all her quiet patient glory, surrounded by her Elite Defense Squad: Amethyst, Rastacorn, Nuclear Throne Robot, and Miss Rajah The Bestest Disney Princess...
As for the art? For art. For you. *nuzzles* That's how I got on the Parallax train. I just stopped giving a fuck if it was "for" anything. Honest to gods, that bullshit really works.
re: mh (~), climate change (incidental; inadvertently subtooty <3 )
@Momentrabbit But oh my gods, do I sympathize with the pain. Everything from the Taps logs to my old Dreamwidth's "friends" list to my *cough* "tax documents" folders that are mysteriously full of JPEGs... Fraught, fraught, fraught. The best I can do is compost all the shit and death and regret and hope something grows out of it.
(And ummm that I don't hurt Noa and Kirt with it so bad in the process that our paltry few readers abandon the whole comic in rage... Sorry again, kids, but Steven and Twilight are both full of shit. :p )