severe tmi biological grossness amnesty thread
Inspired by another toot:
We're in the middle of a plague. We're going to have -- and maybe need -- daily reminders that we are made of icky goopy stuff that does creepy things.
So I'm declaring this an extreme biological TMI confessional thread. Got a part of your body that always inexplicably smells like root beer? Got that THING on your butt that oozes? Love the sensation of picking a certain unidentified form of plantlife out from under your toenails?
Here's the place to tell us about it. DO NOT PROCEED unless you can offer 100% amnesty and non-judgment. You know damn well that when nobody is looking, you're just as gross.
Last warning.
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I'll start. I've got a big nasty ingrown hair on my back that's been there for two months and won't go away. My doctor's still debating if she's gonna drain it, hack it out, or put me on antibiotics.
Also, Peg and I have largely subsisted on red beans and rice for the last week, and my poots have been smelling EXACTLY like Creole Spice Blend. I... I actually kinda like it. n_____n;;;;
Also, ever since I found out my hypertension's in remission, I've taken to drinking shot-glasses of soy sauce and eating anchovy paste straight from the squeezetube.
severe tmi biological grossness amnesty thread
@zebratron2084 you probably knew this but apparently one of my natural talents is growing body hair. This stuff resists shaving and Nair horribly well. Fear of ingrown hairs keeps me from regularly trying to rid myself of the stuff and if I ever win the lottery I’m getting it lasered off. For years I thought I couldn’t be trans because I’m mostly okay with my penis and 4 years ago I realized I could be because of how much I dislike the fucking hair.
re: severe tmi biological grossness amnesty thread
@Leucrotta oh man, am i with you there -- i mean, you've seen me -- i would have done a LOT more with transition if i had consistently had the cash for electrolysis over the years or the werewithal to shave regularly...
re: severe tmi biological grossness amnesty thread
@zebratron2084 although damnit you look good with a beard. Mine is just this patchy red-blonde/white-brown thing which appears to believe the mission statement of a beard is to cover my neck rather than my upper lip.
re: severe tmi biological grossness amnesty thread
@Leucrotta You should have seen my beard over the last couple months! It had gone full David Cross/David Letterman, and I kinda love-hated it, but with the new thick glasses Peg picked out for me, I have, like, Presence+15. People took me _notably_ more seriously before I shaved it off last week. :>
re: severe tmi biological grossness amnesty thread
@Leucrotta Now I really wish I'd kept all my textbooks from my Heresy And Dissidence in the Middle Ages course... (You would have FREAKIN' LOVED this one. Cured the last traces of my Christianity infection like gnostic penicillin. :D )
re: severe tmi biological grossness amnesty thread
@zebratron2084 That sounds *awesome*. I actually don't know as much about medieval Europe as I probably seem to, but it's an interest, and I mean my understanding of medieval Christianity is that it's basically several centuries worth of people both within the Church and desperately persecuted by the Church trying to make Christianity livable/more spiritual.
re: severe tmi biological grossness amnesty thread
@zebratron2084
* falls to the ground gasping for air
* lunch companion rushes over asking "what is it? What is it?"
* "... must... understand the connections between Mercia... and the Carolingians..."
* the Empress of Mars [disputed] is at the next table quietly wolfing down beignets
* "YOU! With the beard! You look like you have an in-depth understanding of early medieval Europe, help me..."
"But I was gonna ask this obvious expert to help explain Tennessee Williams' work..."
"This is no time for post-war introspection, we have someone who needs a comprehensive grasp of monastic and trade connections!"