Wanted to share something I posted live on twitter earlier today.
These posts came directly as a result of the news that Chester Bennington (lead singer for Linkin Park) had committed suicide, something I sobbed into my lunch about for almost an hour.
https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/07/20/arts/music/chester-bennington-linkin-park-dead.html
I wouldn't *be* *here* if it weren't for him and the rest or Linkin Park.
Their music kept me alive, knowing that somewhere, someone else knew and understood what I was going through...
I can't even tell you what that means to a kid who's so scared she'd kill herself to escape.
I did not even *have* the words to describe what was happening to me back then, but they helped me find them.
They're why I got help, why I finally stopped working in defense, why I can even begin to cope with how broken I am inside. And this fucking hurts. >.<
Numb is the story of my relationship with my parents...
Hands Held High was the hurt I felt (and still feel) when something I built was made into a weapon.
Castle of Glass helped me understand myself, @SilverAutomatic, and so many others.
What I've Done is my pledge to never hurt myself as badly as I did before, when I hated and feared myself above all else.
It is also my pledge to do better in future, and to never harm when I can help.
It's the voice of all LGBT folks, really, and everyone else who folks just chose not to see.
My December... I feel that pain every single day. It's been a long time since I've listened to it, but I had a lot of Decembers too. :(
And last but not least... Somewhere I Belong. I'm still looking, but I hope that I will eventually find a home, somewhere I can feel safe. >.<
I kid you not, in my therapy session last week they came up, and I was talking about how much to heal and how much to balance suffering so I could write as he did so I could speak for the broken too. I knew the path was dangerous, but this... >.<
Chester, I am going to miss the shit out of you. >.< I hope you find the peace you were so desperate for. >.<
Faint is the voice of a small child, *my voice*, ignored when I needed help and understanding the most. And it's why I'm fighting now.