Pondering posting lewds again.

Did I mention my heart isn’t in my job right now?

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@Leucrotta It's ok to work to survive. You don't have to like your job or swallow the "if you do what you love..." spiel.

@CrownedRat But I feel like this eats so much energy. Maybe anything as a day job would eat about the same amount of energy at this point.

@CrownedRat it’s just this combination of little stuff- fielding phones, no music, having to look busy, inflexible hours and resulting commute, my boss’ unwillingness to shift my breaks and lunch hour, low pay, everyone else taking time off, the way this is obviously a dead end. Nothing is actively *bad*, like Bank of the West’s expectation that I’ll pick up everything essentially on my own, or Vijay emotionally abusing employees at New Tech, but nothing’s *good* either.

@CrownedRat any job stacks badly with PTSD issues I’m still resolving, and feelings of being trapped, stuck, trapped, treading water which I can perceive as old training on good days, become truly bad on days with poor sleep or anything actively stomping on my issues. I need to work on better internal resolution, but I also need a different job.

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