Usefulness.
Yesterday, I did a lot of house cleaning and other such, then relaxed with some videogames... but pretty much kept playing right into the evening. Despite the overall productivity, I was kind of disappointed in myself for all the "slacking off".
This morning, I thought, "Hey, I'm up, I'm awake, I feel decent, I'll go get breakfast and get some useful stuff done!"
...but really, I kinda just want to play videogames. *shrug*
Usefulness.
Part of me wishes I were good enough at any aspect of videogames to meaningfully contribute by playing them, but the truth is, I'm not actually that much of a gamer.
Really, I think I'm just sort of flailing, looking for something that impassions me enough that I can let that passion sustain me during the hard-work parts of making it useful, and nothing does that for me right now, not in a sustainable way.
I'll just keep telling myself that it'll get better. I'll keep trying.
Usefulness.
But in the meantime, I really just wanna keep banging my head against _20XX_ until I figure out how to play it worth a damn. Or I can keep getting lost in _Metroid: Rogue Dawn_ (a total conversion of _Metroid_) or the like.
Meanwhile, Hollow Knight languishes, despite being a more nourishing experience. See? I can't even choose what to play worth a damn!
Ah well. Such is the life of attention-span-related disability.