Goldkin @Goldkin@awoo.space

I am still around in lurker mode. Low emotional energy from unconnected life things has kept me in mostly read-only mode. But general reminder that I am still around and okay.

I finally had a chance to upgrade my home server, and in doing so, gave Mastodon-in-IRC a try (via Bitlbee). It’s not complete, but it’s a good reminder that plain text remains a good presentation model for social.

It also sorts birdsite by time when I point it there, which at this point feels like cheating.

I am still around. I’m working on smaller art projects and personal things. I’ve also been teaching myself how to PSVR to play the silly FFXV fishing game. They’ve helped.

The world has been hard for me to take lately, and I’ve had trouble communicating past long screeds of internalized anxiety. Pardon that this makes me distant; I’m trying my best.

I hope things are good in your corner of the world, the orthocosm, and your chosen corners of pocket reality. I’m rooting for you. 💖

My Skype was briefly compromised. I flipped its credentials and set it to closed, but if you received a dubious link from me, don’t click.

Interestingly, they may be suffering an incident, so if your account also gets popped, here’s some info: https://twitter.com/goldkin/status/969851164878553088

This is possibly the most important essay I’ve read in the past year (as in 365 days): http://www.rookiemag.com/2018/01/editors-letter-75/

I guess that’s more of a vent than a hot take. Eh.

I think I’m going to go back to doodling cutes while puzzling over Opus Magnum to take my mind off of difficult things.

I am also kind of incredibly thankful for everyone that tolerated me while I went through the bad parts over a year ago.

The penance arc the mind puts you through after leaving a group, where you don’t understand what’s going on and don’t want to cause more harm, really sucks and I do not recommend it to anyone.

Related: I need to get comfortable with kink and lewds on main again. I have no idea why those were the first to go when birdsite got so bad, other than as a self-preservation mechanism.

Hello, I’d like to stop being the paladin in the group and live a little. I’d like to skip to the part in the hero redemption arc where I’m accepted as the flawed and weird person that I am, instead of everyone thinking I’m wrong or somehow faking it.

Which is another way of saying, I’d like to be more approachable and actually talk about what I like again, but reversing the damage from the past years to where I’m comfortable is kind of hard on me right now.

Weh. ;..;

So, I’m open to advice on how to build and improve a balance of work-life identity without having to craft two completely distinct personae from one another. Fleeing tech entirely is probably not practical right now, but cutting back its impact on my life is very much something I want to do.

And, if anything, I’d like to make inroads towards building more things for myself, instead of continuing to let my life and lifestyle choices be sapped by my employer.