Oops car broke. Thank fuck it chose to break down as I was getting off the highway, and not on the highway itself. Especially since I think a CV joint just up and disintegrated, considering the car's wheels spin freely regardless of what gear I put it in. Even in park. Engine runs, no fluid leakage, speedometer goes up in relation to the tachometer when in drive. Managed to pull into a barely ever used section of roundabout to call for a tow. Home now, and waiting for morning to tow car to shop.
I legit thought I popped a brake caliper when it went "kerchunk" and started making grinding sounds as I rolled to a stop, especially considering it happened as I started braking. But no, it's quite likely the equivalent of the drive axle snapping, except for a front wheel drive vehicle.