Kistaro Windrider @Kistaro@awoo.space

how much tea can I drink in a day before it qualifies as a substance abuse problem

One of those days where I slept on a couch for the last fifteen minutes of the work day because I felt too tired and drowsy to bike safely. It helped

Attn. British people (hi @Jacel): is there a “hot and spicy” version of HP Brown Sauce?

I used to have a long attention span, then Twitter happened

Sometimes I wish my gender identity was “male” so I could just be a mainstream gay man and not get so stressed about whether my distinctly-non-genital-agnostic sexual preferences are okay

My default “stress craving” has shifted off of cannabis and onto decaf black tea. Progress!

The tea is more expensive though

Be the tyrannical reptilian brood-queen you want to see in the world

I think I am at this point moderately less comfortable with cannabis use by my friends than I was before I tried it, and I’m not happy about holding that view.

So it’s a hard call. I don’t know what option forces me to give up more- the drug that robs me of every other evening and reduces my intelligence at all times, or the mental illness that bites and harms and attacks me and tells me I shouldn’t try.

But the drug does too. It makes me feel okay with sitting around and not doing anything to improve my life or state of being; as long as I keep using “I’m not okay” as a reason to go do something, I’m moving forward more without it.

I’m one week into not using THC (after using it every other day for a year and a half), so I should almost certainly wait three more weeks before making any decisions to untangle withdrawal effects from baseline things that it was correcting. I hate giving up any of my intelligence and ability to work so, despite its euphoric nature, I’d like to stay off this drug. I don’t want to be trapped in parts of the world relatively friendly to it. But I don’t know if my baseline is okay

I’ve stopped using cannabis because I thought it was having more negative effects on me than positive effects. Either it was stabilizing mood more than I thought or I’m having much worse withdrawal than would be expected for my usage rate. Either it wasn’t causing the headaches I was accusing it of or I’m having them anyway as a withdrawal side effect.

But I’m way more focused, productive, alert, and able to work without it. I am also impatient and grumpy, which isn’t new.

“Oh, pardon me”, I said to the shelf I bumped into

Random waves of despair are not me failing to manage my depression, they are my emotions working well enough to inform me I need to take action to mitigate depression. As odd as it feels to say I’m pretty sure this represents an improvement.

I don’t have good coping mechanisms for misanthropic, hateful moods and I really don’t want to hurt people around me with them

It's nice living in walking distance of Coldstone, so we can go there on a whim, but it's just long enough of a walk that it's a barrier to going there too often.

The dangerous part is that Half Price Books is on the route...

It’s nice to live in slightly long walking distance to a Coldstone. Close enough to enjoy on a whim but not so close the whim is overly easy to indulge

The dangerous part is that Half-Price Books is right along the route though.

It’s nice to live in slightly long walking distance to a Coldstone. Close enough to enjoy on a whim but not so close the whim is overly easy to indulge

The dangerous part is that Half-Price Books is right along the route though.