Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

something that kept me mired in self hate for years, and still shows up occasionally, is that it's hard to separate "I hate being me (with my abilities, experiences and wants)" from "I hate being me (stuck living this way while other 'better' people get to have fulfilling comfortable lives)," especially while stressed, and especially since in childhood everything was some huge moral judgment.

So I'm having a very "I hate being me" day.

@eredien Thanks! I am seriously relieved people keep liking the perspective, since that was actually pretty difficult for me.

@anthracite https://youtu.be/izCvT3-KhFA

Today’s #drawings

@anthracite Oingo Boingo lyrics unsurprisingly

#drawing from last night since I don’t have anything finished from this morning to share

Watch on YouTube: Doctor Who The Specials

you know, that's a particularly British combination of TV and music I'd never considered

the lyrics to the Doctor Who theme are as follows

Doctor Who woo hoo
Doctor Who Doctor Who
Who (wee oo wee oo)
Doctor Who who who whoo woo
woo woo wee wa woo
woo woo wee wa woo
wa woo wee wa woo (woo WHOOOO)
Doctor Who woo hoo woo hoo woo hoo woo hoo

I think Jon Pertwee wrote these, not sure.

Also, I have to remember all Republicans are bullies and abusers. No matter how far their power actually reaches they *are* trying to convince us that they can abuse us at any time without accountability.

This weekend's introspection fits into being this pissy/despairing today. I now feel that while self-hate *did* make me less likely to meltdown in ways that could be noticed and punished, the meltdowns were about overwhelm as well as just triggers, so the self-hate wasn't 100% effective; and the down side of greater self worth is being angry at my wants, identity, and safety being discarded for others' convenience at any moment.

Gotta remember this world was full of beauty and brightness before I showed up, and it will still hold beauty and brightness long after shitty Republicans directly or indirectly kill me off.

@obscurestar except they won’t, of course.

reiterating my opinion that the line in "Seven Nation Army" about "everyone knows about it from the Queen of England to the Hounds of Hell" means the hellhounds are actually corgis

me, cooking with mayonnaise:

🎵
ohhh, if you feel like givin' me a lifetime of revulsion
I second that emulsion
🎶

There's an old story about a samurai asking a monk to explain heaven and hell. The monk completely goes to town on this poor putz, yelling at him about how ugly, stupid, unkempt, lazy and... he keeps going right up to when the samurai loses it and goes for his sword, and yells "THAT IS HELL!"

The samurai immediately takes his hand off his hilt, breathes, and the world isn't so utterly terrible anymore, and the monk says "and that's heaven."

I live in this story a lot too often for comfort.

https://youtu.be/SEYqGBMDtA0

und sie fragen; welchen sollen wir toeten?
und Sie werden mich sagen horen; ALLE!
und wann die Koepfe faellt
sage ich HOOPLA!
und ein Schiff mit 8 Segeln
und mit 50ge Kanone wird beschwindet mit mir

Mandatory safety video for this agency included some of the common OSHA warnings and “Toxic” was inspirational.

@Tuftears Thanks! Might color later.