Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

okay so I did my political activity for today by calling all my congresspeople, big whoop

throw a tack on the road, stop the meatplow

@frost The subjectivity of all of this suggests I CAN’T tack my self worth to this cruel process, doing so is by definition a set up for feeling terrible.

@frost The big thing I’m thinking about here is how my perception is very contextualized. My friend is smarter and more successful, but she makes me feel valued, accepted as I am, and safe. But feeling unsafe, feeling evaluated (and judged not good enough) by total strangers who mean nothing to me beyond an authority to placate, makes me feel like a profoundly stupid failure.

@frost any job is going to be a mix of intelligence, experience and just random bullshit. I think tech sector jobs are (like say law, medicine or accounting) a place where you can actually make big bucks *related* to intelligence, which is part of why I internalized them as proof that I didn’t fit in, was a total moron, etc.

A bit over 12 hours ago, I was hanging out with a friend who makes me look as stupid as my Dad used to say I was, and who correspondingly had a lot of utterly brilliant tech sector employee money, and not once did I feel so completely inferior and worthless as I do today while applying for jobs.

hot take; truly sad that out of all the media "you like X established franchises therefore let's regurgitate a reboot/retelling/sequel" we will never get a good Judge Dredd vs. Predator movie, partly because neither Dredd movie really *got* the right level of goofy AF take on incredibly dark topics. (Eg, "Dredd vs. Predator" is about a good level of serious yet goofy AF.)

if we were very lucky, an artery would give out or something, and I wouldn't be here tomorrow. We are not that lucky, so I am doing the best I can.

"How do I know if I have [ethnic group] ancestry?" uh, frankly this is something I do NOT want someone having my DNA to test out. That's a little too close to figuring out what goes on the forearm tattoo, you know?

Also have you considered that “Big Charlie,” “Fat Charlie,” and even “Carloman” sound like perfectly reasonable sax or clarinet player names and therefore I have some theories about early French monarchs and their relationship to jazz?

based on Bilbo and Frodo, we can safely assume that -o suffix names characterize the Bagginses, and therefore “Sappho, Harpo and Pongo Baggins” are all appropriate names for self insert fan characters

I hate feeling like Queer nerdy leftist space is just another hegemony I'm required to conform to.

GMing is facilitating. I'm not telling my story, it's about a story in which other people get to be awesome. Since "my life is a story in which someone else is awesome" is a lot of my baggage, it definitely has to contribute to how quickly I burn out on running when I run, and definitely is part of burning out on games I've been in.

gonna say this openly; once you start sticking either an Israeli or Palestinian flag next to your name that indicates to me that you see this as a strictly dualistic conflict where one side are only saints and the other are only horrible murderers, and I will BLOCK your warmonger ass.

for he wears long hair and his feet is bare
they say he's mad as an old March hare
with a twinkle in his eye they will pass them by

well I'm goin' up to SEE that old man in the mountain
ai yi yi yi

@frost the BEST part of Alien Resurrection (and the music)

https://youtu.be/-k4lT2TrKRY?si=0HqTCTvOPBlUkKgi

look, I'm never going to afford one of those flights high into the atmosphere to counter gravity, so I have to settle for 1) an edible 2) making really silly looking "floating" movements in my chair 3) while playing The Blue Danube Waltz

@ziphi on the same Doctor Demento tape as King Tut, Cocktails for Two, The Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun, Fish Heads, etc

then I thought, what if storing things in memory space is like lining up the notches in a series of notched disks, where not all disks are notched in the same place but are a mnemonic

then I realized that's a Babbage engine isn't it?

THEN I realized this sounds like Terrence McKenna

*dance music*

star trekkin' across the universe
on the starship enterprise under captain kirk
star trekkin' across the universe
always goin' forwards cause we can't find reverse

https://youtu.be/fBmD7zxpuME?si=6bSAbzBks5HhFYlr

not that I haven't said this before, especially not while stoned, but honestly I really seem still to be caught up in "anticipating when the next disaster is going to take place and coming up with some way I could be to blame for it" and this is really not doing me any favors.