Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Suddenly I was learning to do something COOL, where my progress was MINE, not something my parents and society wanted. And physical.

Something about me you probably won't guess is that I'm actually a *jock* in a lot of ways. But before I started fencing I'd been thoroughly educated that I was lousy at anything athletic.

I mean the last chunk of high school still mostly passed in a depressive haze, but fencing may have kept me from offing myself.

I *think* this was a test of sportsmanship, how does the kid react to being beaten handily? I was starry-eyed. Gene talked to my parents and my parents indulged me in starting fencing lessons!

At this point I really didn't have much of a soul. The first couple of years of high school completely smashed any personality that I might've been developing, the rest suppressed what remained. Despite the academic achievement everything had me convinced I was ugly, stupid, worthless.

Something about my relationship with my parents is that they tend to forget about my actual needs, and they’re awesome at getting me presents which are perfect for me.

Fencing worked that way. Gene, my maitre d’armes, thought it would be good publicity to run a booth at Ren Faire. You’d pay money, fence current students who volunteered. My parents indulged me, and I beat the student; then Gene fenced me. I scored a point on him, and he beat me easily after that.

It’s like trying to make something sane and genuinely prosperous is bound to lose out to rich assfucks who want to get in, crap up the place, cash out. And the rest of us get to at best try to fix it, and at worst there’s all the horrors undocumented folks are getting from ICE. How many of us are going to die for this crap? And they’ll never be accountable and like with Reagan and Bush II history will get whitewashed again, and the whole thing makes me so incoherently frustrated.

I honestly feel Republican strategy is to do as much damage as possible before elections, such that some of it is impossible to undo (federal appointees, budget commitments), undoing some of it can be used as rhetorical ammo for the next round, and some of it will make their backers tons of money before it is undone.

We’re talking about the mentality which does cost benefit analysis and goes hey, cheaper to pay for damages than invest to prevent ‘em. That’s why we get weekly outrages imho.

Literally how do you lose over 1400 kids? Especially if you’re supposed to be quasi-law enforcement?

Even if I didn’t want ICE abolished; even if I didn’t consider their work legalized discrimination in the service of slave labor; I’d want their operations suspended until this was investigated and reviewed.

I kinda want to talk about this embarrassing, horrible, stupid flaw.

No not my hangup about orca transformations. Or about overeating. Though I kinda want to talk about those too.

I reiterate that the thing I don’t get about this whole white male video game protagonist whatever, is that I’d figure a batch of nominally straight dudes would be less into “the protagonist looks like me” and more into “I could watch imaginary hot chicks.”

I honestly think player association is sort of a flimsy excuse. Afaik very few gamers are aliens, mustachioed plumbers, or bald goateed badasses. So why NOT have protagonists who aren’t white dudes? Hard to buy that one.

Do I want to commit to a Tuvan folk concert on Sunday? I mean... I really feel like these are my people (I can explain) but I’m unsure how much I can do concerts these days, or time commitment on weekends.

Hm, is it actually “listen to Tori and feel sad o’clock” again? I’m not entirely convinced.

okay so dumb question for anyone who still likes/listens to They Might Be Giants in 2018;

the song "Spider." I figure most people assume it's about Spider-man, but does anyone else assume the guy saying "I promise not to kill you" is Doctor Doom, and "Step on Spider!" or "Must... stop..." is the Hulk?

big big big cat!
big big big cat!
Lovely dress, giant kitty!
wearing a pink dress on it!
when I go out, it's always beside me
everybody likes its funny faaaace!
INSTRUMENTAL!

hey street boy, want some style?
your dirty dreams don't make you smile
I'll give you something to live for!
Have you! Grab you! Till you're sore!
Hello daddy! Hello mom!
I'm your ch ch ch ch ch ch CHERRY BOMB!

and now Blondie's "chase the cat around the house" song.

I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha

what I like about you
you really know how to dance
when you get up down, jump around
turn around and drop your pants

and inked, and scanned. Eating dinner.

yeah I just can't take the news right now. Not if I hope to reconcile it with trying to push through art which is difficult enough right now.

she's the one for me, she's all I really need OH YEAH
she's the one for meeeeeeee
emptiness is lonliness
and lonliness is cleanliness
and cleanliness is godliness
and G-d is empty just like meee
ANGSTY INSTRUMENTAL!

THE NATIONAL SECURITY!
CONCEPT OF COERCION!
DON'T LOOK AT ME!
DON'T TALK TO ME!
I KNOW IT'S AN ILLUSION, I CAN'T SEE THROUGH IT!
PROVISION L-3
PROVISION L-3
PROVISION L-3
CULTURE OF SUSPICION!
WHAT CAN YOU SEE INSIDE OF ME WHAT CAN YOU SEE INSIDE OF ME?
hands in the air, assume the position!
WHAT CAN YOU SEE INSIDE OF ME WHAT CAN YOU SEE INSIDE OF ME?
ev'ryone make their best dead faces!

*throws something heavy*

well the coffee shop closed but I penciled Art I Don't Really Want to Do. Now I'm inking Art I Don't Really Want to Do while doing Laundry I Don't Really Want to Do and listening to Sisters of Mercy.