Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

you like socialist-realist films about historical Russian leaders, don't you Squidward?

ohhhhh
who lives in a wood palace in Muscovy
IVAN GROZNII
all fur clad and glaringly insane is he
IVAN GROZNII

I really wish I had someone to hang out with to draw, specifically. I should fix this but I'm so low on spoons most of the time.

* being openly Queer solves towards location as well as income, which goes on a collision course with more class stuff, and with corporations deciding oh hey, we officially like Well Off Queers.

This complicates figuring out just how mainstream we are; where's "I'm glad my company is okay with us?" end and "this company is going for cheap dirty marketing" begin? Which is very much marginalized people experience.

idk, I'm probably wrong AND phrasing this offensively (I hope not).

* this plays out most obviously in how public display of identity can solve for young, fully abled, financially successful. (I suspect the only reason Pride isn't more about Wholesome Suburbanites With Kids is that until recently this wasn't even an option.)

It stacks real badly with male privilege - privilege tends to make more leaders guys, and means a lot of guys don't notice that some of their community aren't male.

okay so it occurs to me that as a marginalized group Queers pull all of the same bullshit any other marginalized people pull;

* like any leadership, the leaders can be really way more about the power or their own little subsection of the community

* we have a problematic relationship to kyriarchy where we're trying to assert our identities, while trying to gauge what the mainstream actually thinks AND determine how much we're gonna uncle Tom OR be loud, proud, and possibly dead.

I should not open up with HOT TAKES about Pride and Queer identity, and instead I should do something far happier and safer, like post photos of my naked body or something (I'm still thinking about doing this btw)

I mean these feelings that I'm a failure, a fuck up, and hurtful have been screaming at me off and on for a couple of hours now, but I have enough emotional distance to go look, that's not really helping even if is true, and to be perfectly honest I've been masturbating and that does a good job of keeping my mind off self hate.

so I asked if I could take off early as things were quiet, and they said yes. I'm using the extra time to hang around online in a dark, cool room with nobody else around. Then I'll nap for a bit and maybe get dinner with the housemate.

So sleepy. Yesterday a batch of people tried to get work in before month close and now there’s nothing. I just wanna nap. I ALSO am thinking of following my friends’ lead and posting nudes to Masto later which is probably not the smartest idea, but I still crave compliments y’know.

Am I just being paranoid that this “sanction Canada/EU and prompt retaliatory tariffs etc” is intended to make money for some 45 cronies who currently have metal stockpiled or contracts that lock them in as suppliers even if they raise prices or something?

that point where I listen to patriotic music to get through the day (in this case Khachaturian’s “Battle of Stalingrad”) #ZaRodinu

So I remembered and looked up this WWI battle, at Ft. Vaux. The French and Germans fought it out room to room for weeks in this big underground complex, with the French running out of supplies and water frantically sending out requests for help, really 40k stuff. Turns out the French CO had been disabled earlier but doctrine let disabled officers command forts; and he was also a Socialist? That’s wild!

My libido definitely exists, but not like everything I was ever told about male libidos.

On a 1-10 scale where 1 is “I’m a perfectly happy eunuch” and 10 is “raging boner at day job gonna tug off in the bathroom NOW” I exist at a 4-6 at nearly all times. It’s a bit like how I’m not necessarily going to visit a dispensary, play video games or get doughnuts but as soon as weed, games or doughnuts are around I’m almost always REALLY into it.

Does this make sense?

additionally art, science, and tripping all mess with viewing naked folks sexually; this mix of “that’s a neat looking person on display,” “there are practical reasons why you want to ditch clothes” and “being naked is damn comfy, people should ditch clothes if they like.” Stacks with my “I have no clue what my libido’s doing.”

So that article about hey maybe older people appear more conservative because the left-leaning poor literally don’t survive as long.

They hinted at a batch of disenfranchisement but I also wanted to vent anger about 1) a poor senior is likely working and getting time off shift is an issue which a retiree doesn’t face and 2) a senior in an extended family (my experience is this solves towards PoC) may not have a day job but is likely to be watching kids.

so I finally watched the hyena football sequence from Jackass and come away with the conclusion that spotted hyenas are incredibly cute.

what's in your heeeeeaaad
in your heaaaad
zombi
zombi
zombi zombi zombi iiih iiih iiih
ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh
ohh ohh ohh
aaawwwwwhhhaaaaaaaaaagh

#ItsTheSameOldTheme #Since1916

"Zero" by Smashing Pumpkins is pretty much condensed 1994.

it's my favorite Cake song, "HEY!" bet you can't guess what the lyrics are.

Am I Gay enough for more than 6 minutes of this Lords of Acid track?