Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Dude on the BART is reading and cross checking a chapter of Leviticus on his phone. I think he’s checking pronunciation, that it’s his parsha and he’s gonna chant it soon. Huh.

Song of the moment; “Don’t Go Back to Rockville,” REM. https://youtu.be/6fXCjSgItgw

Groggy this morning. Maybe the second dose of melatonin was a bad idea.

The weird sleep patterns are back again, I am throwing melatonin at 'em.

Today's suppressed memories included watching gorillas at a zoo, a song from "Ruddigore," and my Grampa singing along wordlessly to Ketelbey's "In a Monastery Garden." Not really sure why this dropped out of memory space.

Ever since I’ve really idealized getting to stay on the coast for a bit with a few friends, specifically when it’s colder/cozier and less crowded. So the idea of a small con at the beach during the off season sounds really nice!

Okay; back in 2008, I hit a huge low point, and my friends basically saved my life. My friend’s mother lives in Vancouver, WA, and I got to roadtrip north with them around July 4th, then Thanksgiving. There’s a lot more to the story than this.

One thing is the return trip took us down the coast and we stayed at a really nice beachfront hotel which was a lot more affordable in the cold off season.

When I was a traumatized kid growing up in a really hostile take on Christianity, I “got” the part of Yom Kippur about life being very tentative, about punishment, about trying to placate adults and a concept of divinity which was another angry adult from Georgia.

I missed all the parts where Yom Kippur is a mindfulness exercise, a step towards becoming a kinder, fairer person whether the end is tomorrow or decades in the future.

I hope I can live up to learning this.

Today I seem to be alternating feeling distracted and wanting to go draw, with wanting to be conscientious about doing my job.

“I was gonna hang out in Santa Cruz reading the Silmarillion, Pink Floyd inspired me” wouldn’t work as an excuse to play hookey, right?

http://70sscifiart.tumblr.com/post/178226132254/thevaultofretroscifi-jeffrey-jones-vaughn

whoa wait since when did Catherine Jones paint over Bode work?

dungeons and denims;

http://rah-bop.tumblr.com/post/178227467171/its-a-question-about-your-beautiful-kenku-costume

again my contention is that a lot of feathered dinosaurs in Laurasia were black/brown/brown-red/white. I'm thinking about how ravens and crows see the world; to a *human* the Cretaceous would look sort of drab, but a dinosaur would see a lot of variations.

Came home, put all my clothes in the closet, unpacked book boxes/put shelves and books in bookshelves. Took a break to haul stuff into a very hot attic. So done.

A thing to remember; all the fear, learned helplessness and frustrated anger is layered on the curious, creative child from my grandparents’ photos. The person I’m like a lot more of the time these days. I can’t jettison the anger and fear, but I can be more of the good bits, because life is big, cumulative and inclusive.

This post brought to you by the spike of rage which convinced me to close birdsite today.

So if you post about Maiasaurs and about bone reabsorption in ceratopsians, are you Horner on main?

This wasn’t the most difficult day I’ve had here but wow that wasn’t easy. Also did you know there’s such a thing as an LLLP? That detail got me filing a UCC add-on. Bleagh.

Eventually before I leave the Bay, I should use my Clipper Card and ride the cable car with all the other tourists!

I’m tempted to post Lewd On Main, but feel sheepish about winding up being boring, worried about feeling ignored when people miss it in the flood of other information... and then that makes me think hey, y’know, why do I need to share? I’m valid anyway so it’d be a nice extra to get interaction and maybe praise.

I can taste my blood, and blood never lies.

And here I am, keen-eyed, my mind is low to the ground. And in my mind real time is mine, and I know what I know.

I run through the world thinking about tomorrow.