Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Evil Doers https://youtu.be/dDKBNEbc4xc via @YouTube

"What I have done tonight cannot be undone! I will open a portal and awaken the Ogdru Jahad, the seven gods of chaos! Our enemies shall be destroyed. And from the ashes, a new eden! RAGNAROK. AHNUNG UN RAMA." #MovieQuotes

I FEEL A CHANGE
BACK TO A BETTER DAY
HAIR STANDS ON THE BACK OF MY NECK
IN WILDNESS IS THE PRESERVATION OF THE WORLD
*growls* *arches back* *bleps*

the Yeah Yeah Yeah's "Wolf" is awesome but Shakira's "She Wolf" is so disappointingly het cis normy I need to listen to Powerwolf as a palate cleanser

ohhhhhhhh
CANTUS LUPUS AGNES TOTUS
WE ARE THE WEREWOLVES OF ARMENIA
WE ARE THE ARMY OF THE WYLD!

okay if I can say something Younger Me would regard as heresy, Nine Inch Nails is actually pretty hit or miss.

*Nonstop* nut November? I mean, isn't that awful dehydrating? Is it okay to grab on and cut loose during Thanksgiving dinners I dread?

YOUNGER ME: Wow, Trent really understands all of it to write this stuff. Abusive schools, religious fanatics, childhood reduced to years of gray nothing, an ethnicity reduced to a hollow memory and photos of gaunt corpses, depression, rage. It's all there. At last someone truly understands.

TRENT REZNOR: A GIRL BROKE UP WITH ME!

somehow I went from KEXP playing "Never Gonna Give You Up" through Neil Cierega to the actual Johnny Cash cover to having to listen to "The Downward Spiral" again.

expect drawings of people in trenchcoats doing backflips in slow motion while firing twin mini-Uzis, any moment now

AH WEAR THIS CROWN OF SHIT
UPON MAH LAHR'S CHAIR
FULL OF BROKEN THOUGHTS
AH CAN NOT REPAIR
BENEATH THE STAINS OF TAHM
THE FEELIN'S DISAPPEAR
YOU ARE SOMEONE ELSE
AH AM STILL RAHT HERE

I don’t think I’m working towards tikkun olam so much as I’m desperately afraid of making things somehow worse.

Having a day of problem customers enough that I’m thinking of canceling my plans to cook chard and just do weenies for dinner. And I LIKE chard!

Addendum, while on the pot I realized that technically “They-Men” would accurately refer to more than one He-Man, for example if you had multiple action figures to reflect different eras of manufacture or Laser Power He-Man, Anti-Eternia He-Man, and regular Very Gay He-Man.

New cap idea; WOMEN WANT ME FISH FEAR ME BUT NOT THE ACCURSED WHITE WHALE ARRR. Sadly “I see in him outrageous strength sinewed by an inscrutable malice” won’t fit even on a stovepipe.

Last point is that I feel part of being a whole person is realizing stuff I like can be crap; it doesn’t need to be objectively good or completely unproblematic for me to like it, I gotta acknowledge both aspects.

Addendum;

One way to crack this might be separating conditions and specifics. Specifics are easy to handle; I can still listen to Nirvana and Soundgarden, arcades still exist, 90s TTRPG stuff is findable, and I can get bi bim bop. Conditions are harder but also not necessarily 90s only; I can never be young and exploring the world again, I can try to schedule OWoD games, and all I can do about rising fascism is vote, write, and hope.

This article about 90s nostalgia wasn't what I wanted. It was basically "things you idealize about the 90s were kinda crappy" and that doesn't help; nostalgia is that some of the stuff WASN'T crap and other stuff WAS sheer unmitigated crap, but there's good feelings associated with it regardless of quality.

I think what I want is something to help make peace with nostalgia, that it's okay to miss stuff in the past but to realize that my life experience is more than just those good (or at least well remembered) times, the same way it's more than just the horrible crap. That my experience has been enriched by two more decades and I can come back to the old stuff with new perspective (including "this is shit, but I enjoy the associations" or "this is actually pretty damn good"). The "life is additive, inclusive rather than subtractive and exclusive" thing I learned on psychadelics.

This runs into some personally difficult places for me. The 80s were largely this gray haze of depression and dissociation, trapped in my parents' house or at school for the most part with a few little bright spots outside. The 2000s and later have meant facing less and less prosperity, more and more hardship, and aging. And exploring the world for the first time, as much as it leads to dire regrets, is exciting; it's hard not to idealize the 90s all out of proportion. And my PTSD/CPTSD means I'm really not good at the sort of long term thinking that helps in putting the past into perspective with a future that's perceived as other than nonexistant, shortened or bleak.

@frostwolf https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49643782/ (work safe but there's blood and scars)

One #drawing today, a sorta Larry Elmore adventurer hides or plots an ambush for a big armored ogre or giant.

this fish is pretty good, but I should've made skordalia to go with it

forgot the Beasties sampled the start of "Superfly" for "Eggman" and now have to listen to that

not like the crack that you put in a pipe
but CRACK! on your face, here's a towel
NOW WIPE!