Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Gyatei gyatei haragyatei harasogyatei boji sowaka.

I agreed to stay for dinner. It’s going as well as expected, but I probably won’t see my parents for the next month so.

Also I realized what a certain window decal is all about while seeing it the second or third time up in Anacortes, and frankly I lived through the 80s and coded genocidal homophobia is *not* cute to me.

A metaphor writing coach? What’s that like?

last night was emotionally rough, and as usual I don't actually want to see my parents today.

perhaps listening to even more music will give me emotional fortitude to deal with my folks while feeling like the worst crap in the world.

so listening to Eternal Champion and Dungeon Weed got me looking for Against the Giants.

The copy I had must've gone missing in a move, I wouldn't have willingly sold Giants or Ghost Tower of Inverness, but I still have stuff like Dwellers in the Forbidden City and White Plume Mountain and stuff.

it's ironic that I think of some specific music I like as "What're you trying to do to my new record, I just bought it" when, afaik, "Earache My Eye" is not itself stoner rock/stoner metal.

The Magnificent Seven https://youtu.be/T1OVpzRXFBc via @YouTube

GOT BEEF?

BEEF. IT'S WHAT'S FOR BEEF.

I'd suggest the furry fixation on being heat-driven pets, hypnotized bimbos, and brain-drained sluts is a direct response not to immediate conditions, but having been required to be The Smart Person Who Immediately Figures It Out during grade/high school.

Dead Kennedys - Let's Lynch The Landlord https://youtu.be/aCiYmCVikjo via @YouTube

frankly I feel like they're intentionally harassing the residents (this is the second time within a month they've been in the place) to get folks to move out so they can jack the prices up more for their desired residents.

Landlord Is a Wanker https://youtu.be/UtChTq2trdU via @YouTube

okay, tenant's union hotline is unavailable and doesn't allow leaving VM as an option, so I guess I call Monday.

Wanna talk to someone about gender and family stuff. Wanna talk to someone about D&D stuff. Here seems kinda inconvenient, Twitter seems actively bad, and I feel kinda unwanted in some Telegram communities.

Trying to remember; in the last 30 days or so I went from a NYE party where I felt accepted and wanted, to my job functions largely going away, getting downsized, looking for work and interviews, went to one convention, got FOMO for two others, had two difficult parent things, one maintenance fucking around in my apartment, some gender and personal stuff with the world getting shittier, during still short cold days. It makes sense basically getting a job that intimidates me, kinda wrecks me.

Still profoundly depressed. We’re talking, “I lucked into poppy seed rolls right out of the oven and I’m depressed” profoundly.

Thinking of old skool White Dwarf this morning; Wargames Illustrated (which doesn’t have especially large type) had an article about Hail Caesar, with bits of the book to generate interest… which I parsed as *insets* and was trying to read the tiny font for a while.

"Never forget, never again" is a very noble and unfortunately very hollow sentiment.

And I need to shut up about this right now before I get my probably tranny heeb ass booted off what I consider a rightwing collaborator website.

THE SCENE: It is the seventies and James Brown has contracted lycanthropy.

BROWN: Unh! Somebody help me! I'm burning up!
AUDIENCE: YEAHHHH!

BROWN: *convulses on stage, legs shifting digitigrade*
AUDIENCE: YEAAHH!

BROWN: I feel good! Awooooooo!
AUDIENCE: YEAAAAH!

Trying to tell myself that I'm not walking right back into basically the job I had in 2017.

Really; the abuse I faced in that position was intense enough that I thought about killing myself multiple times a day at some points that year, my usual rate of smoking went from one cigarette every 1-2 weeks to days when I'd have five cigarettes, and some triggers got so deeply entrenched that I am debating turning down a job offer simply because I got REMINDED of them.

Even though a lot of things feel different about this one, and I am better able to cope, that hit hard enough in such a short period of time I'm still really shaken.