Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Consciously catching myself seeing the world as places where I'm actively flawed or simply not good enough. Things might not actually be okay, but they're still better than I can wind up thinking.

I *think* I have sleep problems are response to sudden changes in barometric pressures, and it just dumped snow, so my anxiety suddenly went through the roof. Oops.

somehow listening to a batch of Caravan Palace is not inspiring me to take antihistimine and call it a night

Movies as TTRPGs;

The Matrix is how the GM envisioned their Mage game (suspenseful problem solving, horror elements, some action), Matrix Reloaded is how the game actually went (motorcycles and katanas! getting sidetracked with the Merovingian! NPCs provide huge infodumps!). Matrix Revolutions is all the wild shit both GM and players imagined happening in the game after it petered out probably due to scheduling conflicts.

#drawings today, more inks. This time I tried to do more of the diagrammatic kinda flatter style I used to do as well as one page of more my newer style inks. So goblins (wizard, soldier and ranger with companion), magic users (wizard, warlock and sorcerer) and three adventurers (halfling slinger, warrior, wizard) attack a giant in the forest.

#subtweet but my favorite fast food thing ever used to be that Jack in the Box would sell just hamburger patties for low carb diets, so you could literally get a couple of hamburgers on a breakfast jack. I haven’t done that since leaving NorCal though.

In related news should dinner be hot dogs or should I cook fish cakes with red curry sauce?

oh no there’s been a crossover between automatic upload things I follow and I’m now subscribed to Jack Kirby Belly Rub pics

* power crackle *

Gotta say I’m really enjoying trans masculine joy these days. I mean yeah it’s great to see AMAB folks get to go free, but there’s something profoundly gratifying about guys really being into what for me is at best an innocuous descriptor and at worst is more bullshit.

KEXP introduced me to the Metallica Blacklist album via a cover and I’m disappointed that Goodnight Texas were the only people to cover the best track on the album (oddly it isn’t Metallica’s best song ever). I feel really dumb about my reaction to trying to sing it myself, in the car, so I swapped stations and wound up singing about the Flintstones to RHCP’s Give It Away instead.

Slightly boring dreams; in case you were wondering about Spider-Man Meets Aa! Megamisama, it wasn’t a very good comic in the dream. It started with Beldandi being not as thrilled with the end of Highlander as Peter since she thought McCloud would abuse his power, and promptly became a text document about prior god-emperors. Then got derailed by my designing dwarves for the manga. I guess in my dreams I’m actually a mangaka.

#drawing today, analog inks. Dwarf and halfling rangers; stone giant lich and two giant zombie minions; drow squad (fighter, drider and cleric); two werewolves (Crinos and glabro form with shotgun).

Reading Pema Chodron talking about being in the present with one's discomfort resonated with my experience of self-hate as a distraction (with other benefits, like being inwardly directed anger that therefore couldn't be spotted and punished).That got me to; distraction from discomfort can be a valid coping mechanism, so the nigh continuous discomfort of the first part of my life meant distracting myself made it possible to cope with whatever bullshit happened next, *and* that I literally had no energy to discover other distractions or coping mechanisms.

the older I get, the more I think the best places to live were imperialistic enough to wind up in the global north but not imperialist enough to be completely impoverished dumps desperately spewing rhetoric about how they're still on top.

If a wizard casts magic missile, he throws 1-4 magical energy bolts which automatically hit.

If a cleric casts magic missal, he’s throwing a book of key passages and prayers.

That minotaur pic looks a little too light so after posting I went back and fiddled with the values, and I feel pretty good about catching that.

#coloring more flats today to fiddle with color schemes, varying success. Two of these drawings are *ancient*! Fantasy creatures, undead, eye contact.

The 13th Warrior Rejected Score by Graeme Revell - Track 15 - Praying https://youtu.be/tlOj382_hUo via @YouTube

Victims, aren't we all?

Is [TTRPG product] disinteresting to read because aging means my interests are changing, because stress means I'm losing interest in what used to be my hobbies, because it's a little too much wall-of-text hold my interest, or because it gets kinda trite and repetitive?

"Artoo, that rear deflectional stabilizer's broken loose again! See if you can lock it down."
"Dweeeet."
"Hang on back there."
#MovieQuotes

That's right the blobulent suit!
It's made of RUBBER it's very UGLY!
It's got an AIR HOSE!
The guy who's got it all has a SPACE WRENCH!
The things that were supposed to be green in the black and white movies
They get you in the neck when you're not looking!