Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

the off shore recruiters became more flail-y apparently, now I'm getting lots of spam for jobs I don't even vaguely qualify for as well as for jobs nowhere near my current state let alone city.

"mmmmm, Shai-Hulud."

That's some tasty Shai Hulud right there. Presumably a gigantic sabih. Only the very strong ones travel this deep.

I'm never actually going to get to Europe, am I?

HERR MANNELIG HERR MANNELIG
TROLOVFEN I MIG
JAG KAN INGA ANDRA TEXTER

apparently me quoting Mr. Big from "Zootopia" comes out sounding a LOT more like my blood relatives than actual movie version.

Only two #drawings today, but inked! NPCs including reworked earlier characters, goblin bard, orc gladiator, human ghost hunter, halfling civilian, dwarf priest, elf duelist, two portraits. Eye contact.

Japanese cultural elements used to replace Ashkenazic ones, then passing off the resulting versions of Chelm stories as treasured Zen parables

I am of course thinking about the time monks from Herumujima tried to capture the moon.

tried to throw together peanut sauce for noodles and *almost* got it - next time, less peanut butter, more sesame/hot oil and rice vinegar.

knocked out job applications, cleared email, checking rents near me just to feel better about committing to another year of high rent here

and frankly I am now wanting to help tear down this entire filthy corrupt world in a way I wasn't while sending out job applications.

* Scarlett O'Hara voice *
Ah've made mah peace gesture! Th' forms of canle have been observed!
* fans self *

"I'm not frightened of dying. Any time will do, I don't mind. Why should I be frightened of dying, there's no reason for it, everybody's got to go sometime."

... I always imagined the speaker being an elderly hobbit with a big tankard of beer. In case you're wondering it's the doorman at the recording studio.

This morning I'm realizing that despite having really worked (at least somewhat successfully) to avoid barreling top speed into all my narratives about self hate, the past workdays and their end have been emotionally exhausting, and the sudden crying jag about the end of "Time" really drives that home.

sadly the subtle magic of air pressure and just enough moisture means I can't make fart noises with my hands consistently

but for one magical moment I was able to make fart noises with my hands for some of the instrumental in "I Love Rock and Roll"

DOWN DOWN TO GOBLIN TOWN
YOU GO MY LAD
HO HO MY LAD
GOBLINS YAP AND GOBLINS YIFF
GOBLINS SPLIT A BIG FAT SPLIFF

Well… they ended my assignment. Not unexpected, but I had to do due diligence trying to get somewhere with this.

This wasn’t as bad as feared and though unsure if I’ll be fired I feel bad right now, instead of completely miserable like I was thanks to the prior 3 graded calls. 1+ hour to go.

Like in recordings I have hints of the speech problems I had as a kid. I’m not imagining this.

Just trying to remember; there are a lot of moving parts in this process and being stressed out doesn’t make material stick in my head better. More realistic as well as more compassionate than the flood of self hating thoughts.

In 2.5 hours no matter what i can go home and I can snap rubber bands on my wrists to keep from self harm, and I can hop online to remain in contact with people, and I can set big value judgments of my worth aside because I know my perception is really biased by old messages.

There’s the sick feeling I missed this whole weekend. The certain knowledge that I’m complete shit.