Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Oh. So there's a *them*, now.
#MovieQuote

oh YEAH the soundtrack from the part of Zootopia where suddenly it's Batman the Animated Series!

by the way, the part of the movie I liked most was how it suddenly became Batman the Animated Series for about 2 minutes there.

* cants wrists, thumb and first two fingers out, stands on tiptoe/digitigrade *
* to the "Case of the Manchas" score from "Zootopia" *

SCREEEEEEEEEEE

I would like to thank my Extremely Sicilian ex for how the exclamation "uhhh!" and cracking my knuckles (or trying to, I can't and she's an expert at it) has become my shorthand for a goomba, a kneecapper.

I've been lately realizing that a lot of what's effed up is a result of how capitalism wants to maximize ROI and is therefore very resistant to change.

A capitalist wants to reap the windfall of the next Apple, the next Jurassic Park or the next housing boom, regardless of how these things raked in that much money thanks to being new and unique. There's also a certain appeal to knowing you have a known moneymaker (like gas, or rent in the Bay Area). And then there's maximizing ROI by skimping on pay, employees, safety, maintenance, hours.

Consequently a lot of places where existence could be not-shit, are shitty. From Waffle House busting unions to studio executives planning to replace scriptwriters and extras with AI to jacked up rents to how fucking completely unexcited I am about anything superhero movie there is these days and more, it's all someone trying to maximize their ROI. Why would they change unless someone MADE them change?

And that's the government's job. Push change so that these guys have to figure out how to profit from unleaded gas, catalytic converters, relatively safe meat packing plants, etc. But of course when the government is thoroughly purchased, there's no way it will ever push the needed change. I don't especially love the idea of violent revolution, and despair of ever being able to push back as needed.

#drawing today, two headed land dragon takes a would be dragonslayer for a ride! Fairly overt violence and eye contact.

What should I draw after I get off work?

The rest of learning from profound discomfort lately gets personal enough that it’s stuff I’d want to tackle in therapy if I HAD a therapist, but tldr is I tend to worry that I am or will be perceived as some form of fictional villain and therefore anything that happens to me is a presumed very deserved comeuppance (rather than the sort of random impersonal horrors that happen). Even after all the work I’ve done, my mind STILL holds onto that, if that makes sense?

I now think this suggests I’m actually NOT stupid, because I have enough brain power to scramble for possible technical solutions while also doing this horrible CPTSD stuff. (Similar to “I was never actually stupid, it’s easy for an experienced teacher to assume material they know is obvious when it ISN’T and express frustration towards me not getting it” which in turn is similar to “I was never actually the out of control monster which they taught me I was.”)

This has really established to me that the prior employers were truly bastardly, enough that where I thought I’d fucked up (this segues to my next point) that’s largely places they expected great performance and dismissed okay or good.

Larger point; whenever there’s a mistake my mind simultaneously plays out How Are these People Going to Punish Me and What If I Really Am this Inept Asshole Who Inevitably Fucks Up and It Won’t Stop Until I Die.

The past few weeks I’ve been temping a little south and west of where I worked 09/21-07/22. In much nicer conditions, for a lot more in part because they’re trying to comp me for the long drive. I’ve still been stressed since workdays I don’t have that much time to draw or walk AND cook AND unwind without really screwing my sleep schedule. And if my folks want me on a weekend that’s more stress, less down time.

yes but what SORT of trans masculine artist are you, are you a “bugs and fungus” trans masculine artist, an “absurdly cute and lovable” trans masculine artist, or a “holy shit hornier than all the locker rooms within a 5 state radius combined” trans masculine artist

would have been useful as an adult to have grown up with teaching working differently so that I didn’t learn every time something was questioned, I was in dire trouble and needed to fix it NOW to avoid whatever

today we celebrate when they stormed the Bastille and liberated us from a simple binary view of gender

#subtweet #RobZombie #lyrics
I keep close watch on this heart of mine,
I walk the line.
I walk the line.
I’m already dead! I’m already dead! I’m already dead! I’m already dead!

looking forward to getting that Musk chip installed in my brain so I can have religious types and capitalism’s snake oil salesmen immediately crammed into my cerebellum, rather than having them pop up while I’m trying to read or see stuff I actually value

apparently, not really up for The Discourse this morning. Pick one.

I haven't actually orgasmed since Friday night - too busy, tired or stressed to really masturbate much. So this was the first time I'd climaxed in six days which is not my usual. Whoa dazed.

soooo someone on birdsite made a joke about Roman underpants and I went looking

apparently these are "subligaculuae" (sing subligaculum). Basically leather flaps you tie up at the hips and boom, underwear. Apparently since lower class people wore 'em, it was a pretension to go commando. Apparently one senatorial family made a big deal of showing up in toga and underpants to prove that they were full of traditional values or w/e.

Reading about the Grand Chevauchee facing a defeat at Ribemont, where the French were in part Gilles, the lord of Chin, and his retinue.

Lord of CHIN? I’ve been reading about Warring States burials and now I’m real confused.