Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

the last time I applied for an administrative job with [company] they turned out to not have that job open surprise surprise and instead wanted me in their garage changing tires which they assured me was something with lots of future. Let's give it another try.

Not Ukranian as in 🇺🇦​ but Ukranian as in 🏴​

*heavy fake accent*
CATERPEELAR DRIVE
*choral music*

and inevitably the combination of naval marches and not-naval but patriotic music gets me to;

"kholodnaya utra, tovarisch kapitan"
"da, kholodnaya. I trudnaya."
"para po-plivat', tovarisch kapitan"
"da. Para."
#moviequotes

* clicks on Schostakovich 11 Mvt 4 *
* less than 1 minute later *

POWER BREEDS PARASITES
LONG LIVE ANARCHY

Also, I’d never made stuffed shells before and thought it was worth a try; those logs of goat cheese are vaguely like ricotta as texture. There are a lot more shells than just this. It tastes fuckin’ awesome! CW food photo

I was really enjoying how overdramatic the end of Dvorak's 9th Mvt 1 is, and then clicked a link to Berlioz's Symphony Fantastique, a piece which gets incredibly extra in the last two movements. I'm SO here for it.

* clicks on the Mahler 1st Mvt 4 which is definitely "you are all like little baby, check THIS out" over the top *

#drawings today, trying to get architectural elements more in there. Two investigators explore an abandoned house in rural nowhere, and two investigators flee unsuccessfully from *something* inside a house. Something big.

I have opinions and not all of them are that pleasant.

SHE CAME FROM PLANET CLAIRE
I KNOW SHE CAME FROM THERE
SHE DROVE A PLYMOUTH SATELLITE
FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT

PLANET CLAIRE HAS PINK AIR
ALL THE TREES ARE RED
NO-ONE EVER DIES THERE
NO-ONE HAS A HEAD

SOME SAY SHE COMES FROM MARS
OR ONE OF THE SEVEN STARS
THAT SHINE AFTER 3:30 IN THE MORNING
BUT SHE ISN'T!

SHE CAME FROM PLANET CLAIRE

SHE CAME FROM PLANET CLAIRE

SHE CAME FROM PLANET CLAAAAAAAIRE

oh yeah it's Shpongle's "I Forgot How Much Acid I Took"

Then it hit me; a system so completely hostile is not a useful place to go for self esteem!

It really isn't, even without the parts where someone's trying to tear you down to make you convenient to them! (And following my observations, this is probably relatively infrequently; all you need is similar circumstances and a few cases where it was intentional, and it all looks intentional. It was definitely semi-intentional in childhood, between my parents being so SURE they needed a little math-reading genius that they discounted where I was potentially very skilled, and my schools wanting you to shut up and sit down because the important part was the football players.)

I could be a completely inept, ugly, charmless moron, or I could be a bright, talented, lovable person and even relatively okay looking, or ANYTHING IN BETWEEN, and it wouldn't matter, because a system that's already reduced you to a simple disposable asset can't really speak to the many ways in which you're anything else!

okay! Today's "looking for jobs in late capitalism has me thinking of cutting my wrists from self doubt and despair" is FINALLY done for today after one of those long "tell us every detail that might possibly exist about your prior jobs, fuck that you've got it on your resume" applications, so I'll eat something and figure out what I'm doing with the rest of the day.

perhaps listening to really schmaltzy Yiddish theater songs will help me feel less melancholy about *gestures*

I realize the EEO surveys are well intentioned but there's still always an element of "well why do you need to know, trying to figure out what my forearm tattoo should look like, fuck off!"

that "all my dreams of exploring below the ocean's surface, of finding out wonderful things about animals extinct long before humans even existed, of traveling across Europe and doing art for money are all gone, replaced by probably winding up in a warehouse again" feeling which probably indicates I need to eat something

we're back to "I really should make a concerted effort to learn Mandarin."