Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Feeling that I am good enough turns out to be a *technical skill*, like cooking or driving, and growing up being *actively told* I’m stupid, inept, ugly, unathletic and evil means when stressed I doubt myself and tend to look externally for reassurance which won’t necessarily come (or which cognitive distortion dismisses) in part *because* of old training that if I can only be good enough I’ll be safe and comfortable, which looms large because PTSD means I suck at thinking there’s a long term.

Day job’s coming to a close tomorrow. Which okay salmon season’s over and it was always a temp deal but still, I was sort of hoping, you know? Gonna see if I can get a reference out of the deal, gonna see if I can get food stamps maybe, gonna try not to [redacted] myself out of fear of homelessness or working at an Amazon warehouse with the rest of my personality going away.

Wow, MORE bad news? This week is just shit.

Gevalt. Are we done with the “publicly correcting coyote” hour please?

and now the Incredibly Puerile Release of Star Wars, in which "yo mama's ASS!" replaces key phrases

"don't be so proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy planets is nothing compared to yo mama's ASS!"

it would be nice to imagine I have a chance at a future.

wow that took my mood from very bad to completely shitty

Wow, that wasn’t what I expected to piss me the fuck off today. But yeah. I think I can pass on this iteration of Werewolf the Apocalypse.

AND NOW

Here are some fun fennec fox facts!

* eeeeeee
* eeeeeee!
* EEEEeeeee!
* eeeee

the urge to cackle CHRISTMASTIME! HEE HEE HEE throughout the Darkman soundtrack

Эбаннои эбаннои эбаннои

Have you considered the expression “down for the Count” is like dtf but with vampires?

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near
And have you considered becoming
An ornithologist

Lord Elfmullet, a 5/3/5th level Ranger/Druid/Thief, and his enchanted bokken, "Morning Wood" (+2, +3 vs cold-using)

(this came out of thumbnailing a very uh, 80s looking elf and then snickering at the name "Lord Elfmullet")

yes I know

we kill small children <strike>to make matzoh</strike>

I've heard it before.

whoops.

That's not a friend, I guess.

also, it's not only Crow-soundtrack-listening-season here in Seattle, it's Bladerunner-soundtrack-listening-season

chummer

I might have an overnight guest this weekend, and I suck at housekeeping, so I figured before I ran out of spoons I'd do some cleaning.

I cleaned the toilet, tub, sink/counter in the bathroom, the stovetop and microwave in the kitchen, got rid of some fridge fossils, took out trash, and made a pot of kinda dilute curry.

This is not exactly "Beowulf LET Breca beat him in swimming the Baltic because he was busy trashing sea monsters" bragging but it's something.

Short rant: I know what side I’m required to/supposed to take, I know what side I’m biased towards, and I also DON’T want to take sides. Dead, traumatized or unhoused aren’t national or ethnic identities. I’m sure someone will tell me I’m the oppressor for my desired neutrality here. How about maybe I’m not a fan of war if any larger than 1/36th scale or outside historical reenactment?