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I mean if I could shift to my superstrong crinos form and start throwing vampires in slow motion, I’d go for that instead of the dual wielding tight pants slow motion option or heck maybe I could even fight florentine in slow motion IN crinos. But I’m biased and maybe you couldn’t do that with 2008 vintage CGI.

And then Werewolf Aragorn called an army of feral werewolves from The Werewolf Paths of the Dead. Also they still have exactly no ranged weapons.

Somewhere Werewolf Aragorn went from dying as a naked human to being saved by Big Dave the Werewolf Puncher to… finding an awesome coat and tight pants?

Definitely early 2000s “if it’s worth an action sequence it’s worth slow motion backflips.” Also, werewolves and vampires have done the nasty to create the Kwisatz Haderach, who could seal the breach and lead Transylvania to true freedom.

I felt sure the “firing ballistae into our own castle” sequence was gonna end in a heroic slow motion leap but apparently THAT was Lucian escaping to do the Braveheart speech.

I’m not sure what arming guys who’ve never swung an axe but can shift to crinos is gonna accomplish with no ranged weapons.

Fortunately Big Dave the Werewolf Puncher is there. And now Sonja the 5th generation Ventrue only also she’s a third generation Brujah who’s the second gen Ventrue’s biological daughter and DTF. This is kinda confusing.

Also it’s like THE IMMORTAL RIVALRY BETWEEN WEREWOLVES AND VAMPIRES which has endured since uh 20 years prior.

Well… I brought movies… X2 has serious themes of loss, but Underworld Rise of the Lycans has characters with as much depth as toilet paper so losses aren’t big.

So we’re in Transylvania which is also England which is also Middle Earth. Also we can’t decide what century it is, and everything’s blue.

Playing “Guillotine”

The angry mob, zey threw at her… Les pommes de tierre! Hon hon hon!

see also "Auntie coyote, why do you associate 'King Tut' with 'Der Fuehrer's Face' when there's no historical link between New Kingdom Egypt and Nazi Germany unless you're a very committed conspiracy theorist?" for "listened to Doctor Demento album several thousand times"

embarrassing gaming admission; the only time I've played a monk in D&D, it was the 90s and one of the only albums I and my housemate owned was a "Doctor Demento" tape

and consequently I spent several games speaking entirely like the sifu in "Boot to the Head."

Standing in line and just had the most fucking cynical take on Queer rights

also do I need chocolate or ginger candy they’re RIGHT HERE

Have ferret owners ever referred to playing with their pets as “wasting time watching tube”?

Activating the caterpillar drive by saying KATERPEELAR DRIVE in a bad fake accent. For a moment I thought I heard singing!

okay, so Half Price had nothing but it's near the Safeway that has a better selection of chicken organ meat (more immigrant community maybe?) so I got chicken livers, and pork chops and tilapia on sale. Dredged/fried all the tilapia, put pork in to marinate, am gonna fry livers for gehackte leber later

that's enough Bluesky for the time being

do I want cut up weenies or canned tuna in my (fancy, non dairy) mac n cheese?

part II: the "Predator's Death" track sounds very reminiscent of the part of Mummy Returns where they reanimate Imhotep

I would TOTES watch Mummy vs. Predator

never knew that Alan Silvestri scored "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" and sure enough some parts sound very much like "Predator."

... but setting two Predator movies in LA makes no sense.

Still... I mean... toons are supposedly unkillable and I can see Yautja mouths and long hair working for "wild takes"

Look, I know the supernatural is something that isn't SUPPOSED to happen, but it DOES happen.

* blast of gunk music *

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