Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Currently, I am sitting in the parking lot to McDonald’s because I thought I would get chicken nuggets as a treat and as a way of getting far away from the office, however, I am currently too upset to eat.

My parents are still around and goodness knows how my housemate for starters would react so I can’t take myself out, and of course I want things to be better than to just not exist, but I can’t help thinking there’s really no reason to keep going, looking forward to something is for people more important and worthy than me; I’d like to skip ahead to the part where I’m no longer here trying to cope.

#drawings last night

look, I'm not going to participate in a general strike which I only knew about less than 12 hours ago and when I get an hourly salary

further, I vote Democrat and hope for a resolution to Arab-Israeli conflict *other* than the colonialist imperialist villains being murdered and de-homed down to the last toddler and botanist

and last, I'm from the wrong minority and/or am just a privileged cis-het honky. Is there anything else I should say to convince you that I'm utterly awful?

inevitably when I feel like I should die it's someone stomping on childhood issues, or several someones. I am spiraling and know I am.

oddly checking a monster manual entry while sitting on the pot is the first time time I’ve noticed you can sing “large aberration” in Sade’s “Smooth Operator.”

I have here a sneaker that's battered and worn
the soles are all busted the laces are torn
but I wouldn't trade it for a big stack of porn!
I love it because it's trash!

Oh I love trash!
Everything dirty or dingy or dusty
Everything rotten or ragged or rusty
Yes I love trash!

now willya look at the rest of this crap?

A NASTY rant is brewing and since it connects to The Topic I’m Not Allowed to Talk About, I should not say it and get my ass flamed. Which is maybe better, the Buddha’s whole hot coal take on this.

a mohawk is like a mullet but in the opposite direction which is why punks and metal heads are very similar but not identical

I should know better than to say anything positive about Dems around leftists, it’s like trying to argue with the fucking fash.

so looking at those gorgeous Den of Imagination models where there are big freehanded murals on the sides of Astartes vehicles

it occurs to me that this is basically the Grimdark Future equivalent to a WIZARD VAN. Dude dude dude checkitout Lion El'Jonson on the side of my APV, he's AWESOME.

which when you think about it makes sense for supersoldiers who at some emotional level are perma-teenagers. There's a canonical reason to have big freehanded murals on the sides of Astartes vehicles.

hey look, it's actually color. #drawing

Again something that really bothers me about this whole situation, and I was reminded of it by how somehow, SOMEHOW, my fellow citizens forgot just how needlessly deadly and expensive Trump's first term was - we're not even getting into this term or how someone who incites a coup shouldn't even have been permitted to run for office, or the state secrets that turned up in random spare bathrooms in Mar A Lago awaiting sale, etc.

And what pisses me off is I'm pretty sure whenever this nightmare ends, we'll get 4-8 years of a Democrat in office, and then we'll have another Republican OSHA hazard because Americans will look to the time we're living through now, that anyone voting will have lived through, as when America was strong and prosperous under a brilliant Republican.

Feeling bad this morning, but eh. Here’s last night’s #drawing! Originally I thought a grub wizard, bloated and pallid under its cloak, would be horrid and as I drew it I thought it was more cutesy, so I added the teapot.

Again I really hate how easy it is to transition between "I hate being me [living through uncomfortable/undeserved immediate to long term conditions in my life]" to "I hate being me [the person living through them]."

It's definitely a result of learning I was total shit at the same time/as a rationale for being treated badly, and it would've taken a minor miracle not to internalize it. As luck would have it it *did* take a minor miracle to start rejecting any of it at all.

https://youtu.be/XDkhzVw0yBs

@electrickeet https://bsky.app/profile/snakepixel.art/post/3mdbd7eatdc26

Outside yesterday and today.

not helping fight the urge to get completely baked;

https://youtu.be/0xTD56UVIZU

https://youtu.be/ULvEnRH22UE

https://youtu.be/HD1L_LOxme0

I live cement
I HATE THIS STREET
give dirt to me
I bite lament
this human form
where I was born
I now repent