Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

https://morethanjustparks.substack.com/p/blm-announces-plan-to-fell-oregons

comment period ends 03/23/2026

wow, if I'm still bouncing between self-hate, shame and anger like this, they got me good.

Glad everything I’ve done manages to step back “there’s nothing to live for and I can’t off myself, I’m trapped” into “I ran into old issues which truly make me feel awful, plus I’ve had some bad stress recently and I’m feeling trapped right now.” However I still feel bad and would just like to get out of here to draw etc.

you don't understand I HAVE to look at cat pictures to study their anatomy and saying things like "tiny pudj does A Violence" is part of the overall gestalt

I realize just *being willing to entertain thoughts like these* is gender dysphoria but I still feel like it’s wanting to be a girl to get off the hook rather than a true and valid desire.

Hey Washington residents! The fucking Nazis have state bills to harm our community, here’s more news;

https://translegislation.com/bills/2026/WA

Trying to figure out if literally any joke I could possibly make about “Retiree Rumble™️, Capcom’s game of battling senior citizens” would be horrifyingly offensive.

Last night’s #drawing helped emotionally recover from 2/3 things yesterday. That third was a doozy, fuck…

edible and Mdou Moctar was definitely a good idea

Republicans aren’t human and need not be treated as such.

fuckin’ crazy how people seem great with AI art in a fandom full of not well off artists and which encourages creating your own characters

fuckin’ crazier how people being just great with AI art in said fandom isn’t cause for the Albigensian Crusades but fans peeing their diapers somehow is

my BODY is a DEVICE

for changing NATURAL DOPAMINE DEFICIENCY

into INCREASINGLY unsatiated NEED FOR DOPAMINE

Tonight’s #drawing didn’t entirely work, but it sure beats the bile I was gonna post.

the next lyric after "so have you got some idea/didn't think so, well I'll see ya/sayonara, sayonara/yaaaaonara, araaaaara, aaaaaaaa *koff koff*" are

a) ooo trigger happy! oooo, trigger happy!
b) sell the kids for food/weather changes mood

Last night’s #drawings include having finished reading a Ravenloft module.

Situations I encounter are likely to be a mix of;

1) I *am* smart, competent, pretty, loved, and wanted

2) I am *also* often stupid, inept or ignorant, ugly, or unwanted

3) there are places where who I am, or what I get right or wrong, doesn't especially matter; how safe and comfortable I am is pretty random, tangential.

So the follow up to that last post is "better judging each situation as I come to it, with the understanding that I'm carrying a LOT of observer bias"

What I'm noticing now is that combining natural tendencies (everything feels more frustrating/longer/sadder than it does to the people running the show) and bad personal experience (I've been *told* everything is crucial, that safety and comfort is all down to my performance rather than this largely arbitrary thing, and also that I've been *told* I'm a complete fuck up and someone out there honestly is out to get me -- and only a few intentionally malicious experiences give an impression of overall intent to harm);

every choice I make usually goes through a filter of self-doubt -- is this something I fucked up that's unforgivable? could this be the thing that I somehow do well enough to be safe for a bit, so it's ultra important I not fuck it up? -- but of course failure and success are usually big cumulative processes.

And this is where I have problems finding a "middle way;"

1) realistically and emotionally, I can't treat every possible fuck up as a dire portal to complete disaster

2) like fighting while off balance, amped up emotional intensity can make me more vulnerable to the next thing that "goes wrong" and that in turn keeps me more emotionally/fiscally vulnerable to the next thing after that, there *are* cumulative successive failures.

So where exactly is a good balance point between those two? (And, won't how important things are differ from moment to moment?)

... I swear this sounds stoned. I'm sober, just low on sleep and not great at expressing myself.

I've attempted to create an FCC account to leave a comment but their site is having problems validating new accounts rn

wanted to throw this out so people can potentially comment

https://darksky.org/news/two-satellite-proposals-threaten-the-night-sky-the-window-to-act-is-now/

I'm starting to feel that to stay sane, you should occasionally do REALLY STUPID NOSTALGIA.

Like, you know the 80s were wood panels and homophobia, 3e had huge flaws, you idealize the 90s because you were a kid, 2008's internet had horrific bullying, etc etc

But right now you need to set it aside and idealize A BETTER SIMPLER TIME. After the hangover clears up and you can say "yeah actually that was shit" again, you can also say "but this was good so I want to bring THIS back into the future."

Last night’s #drawing #furry #dnd