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visiting a cemetery in a ghost town 

So a while ago I mentioned roadtripping north with a couple of married friends, since one of them has family around Portland. This has actually happened several times now -partly because I haven’t had a car some years- and each time I’ve gone north with them it’s been desperately needed.

The last time was in 2015, right after a three week period in which I lost a job, a laptop died and a replacement got a virus, and a cat died.

mh “joke” 

Cashier; hello, how are you?

What I think of saying; this close to stepping off a BART platform

What I say; okay, how’re you?

Feeling story like again. What would you most like to read?

* how I got into comics and nearly lost interest

* how I started playing D&D

* a good memory of a ghost town

* what it was like going to the game shop as a kid

So how’s everyone doing?

I’m waiting for documentation and kinda scared and doubtful right now, so I apologize if I step on toes today.

mh ~ 

At work. Roughed drawing horses earlier which helped a little.

I’m trying to tell myself all the compassionate, encouraging things I would tell someone else (which is easier) but this is up against how I’m a panicky animal running on poor sleep and whatever that cortisol spike was last night. So it feels like it’s having no effect, but at another level I feel all the work I’ve done means I can get this far and it *is* helping.

the worst anxiety I've run into in what feels like years, I can't sleep at all well, I think I might ask to head home early from work, today

drug ref, mh, cute animal stuff 

anxiety spiked and woke me after less than 2 hours, so I ate more weed and am trying to find positive things to think about

and found this lovely cat

liz-pls.tumblr.com/post/178503

I showered and listened to a recording of the Heart Sutra, and that helped a little. I feel like crying, this is such a terrible thing.

ideation 

I went from feeling kinda okay to really wanting this to just be over, for the whole thing to end. Please please can I leave?

I feel like a terrible person right now, I feel like I mess up everything and nobody will want to date me. I could use some reassurance, please.

Some days you push the limits of what you can make, and other days you just need to chill out while waiting for the commute to ease up.

coyote yell along hour, BART punk edition 

THE NATIONAL SECURITY, CONCEPT OF COERCION!
THE ALPHA! THE OMEGA!
I KNOW IT’S AN ILLUSION,
I FAILED MY WILL SAVE!

coyote sing along hour, DKs on BART edition 

The landlord’s here to visit
They’re blasting’ disco down below,
Says, I’m doubling the rent cause the building’s condemned,
You’re gonna help me buy city hall.
But we can, y’know we can!
We can, y’know we can!
Let’s lynch the landlord
Let’s lynch the landlord
Let’s lynch the landlord man! I

Current mood; NOT mimicking nocking and loosing arrows while steering a horse with my knees, during the part of The Thirteenth Warrior soundtrack where the “Tatars” attack. (At that point historically they’d probably be Pechenegs or possibly Avars anyway.)

let me tell ya about this game I ran! 

The Ahroun’s player put lots of dots in Brawl and less in Melee, so they kept missing with the hammer and switching to way more effective claws. So... the character had been chosen by their wyrd to carry the hammer. Being burly tough Get, the character and their tribe assumed that meant “into battle.”

But what it actually meant was “guard this and keep it safe until it can be used to create a new caern.”

That’s the story!

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let me tell ya about this game I ran! 

and what *they* were trying to do was summon an immense storm spirit to obliterate Seattle in a legendary blizzard.)

Fortunately a PC provided a good narrative resolution by sheer chance.

The group’s Get of Fenris Ahroun had one of those big legendary hammers - and that spirit would actually work for powering the new caern without doing anything ethically bankrupt!

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let me tell ya about this game I ran! 

Clearly binding an uprooted African place-spirit and kidnapping their guardian was too gross for our heroes and most Garou, so another solution was needed.

(The game’s other big plot was a red herring; a young low-status Shadow Lord and Red Talon allies were *also* putting up new but less powerful sites. They weren’t the culprits, though of course what *they* were planning was terrible. The Lord had been chosen by/decided he was a prophet of The Wyld -

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let me tell ya about this game I ran! 

the spirit wasn’t actually homeless. As part of the viciousness in OWoD Africa, the spirit had been uprooted from the Masai Mara, linked to an Ajaba guardian. The Glass Walker’s hired help simply tranq’ed her and shipped her to Seattle full of ketamine.

When this wore off, the PCs were called in to figure out what appeared to be killings by a rogue Garou, then to track down and appease a werehyena on the run.

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let me tell ya about this game I ran! 

For a short time I was running a Werewolf the Apocalypse chronicle for @xurnami, @Valerie_Elysee and a few others. It petered out before I got to exposition which I’ll talk about.

See, a prominent Glass Walker had decided the way to fight the Wyrm and gain prestige was to build a new caern, complete with a powerful guardian spirit. In fact he’d found a powerful place spirit now unlinked from its home to use! There was just one problem;

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