Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Soundtrack thoughts;

Temple of Doom is such a D&D movie. A party of three PCs has at best tenuous reasons for being involved in the plot, and after social encounters go nowhere because the DM REALLY wants them to go in the dungeon, they basically spend the rest of the movie there. The arch-villain's motivations are a nebulous take over <strike>Malatra</strike> India/by being so evil that you don't start asking why NOT let Indians run their own country instead of Brits/wearing an awesome hat.

HELLO?

IS ANYBODY THERE?

I SEEK GLORY!

Warning, James Horner minor key horns engaged. Warning, James Horner minor key horns engaged. Warning, James Horner brass sting in 30 seconds. Warning.

TEA! EARL GREY! FOOKIN' ' OT, M8!

Today I’m reminded of just how much my childhood intentionally kept me stuck and trapped- not a good fit for my PTSD - and that fundamentalism really did basically tell me that I was evil and that G-d was this abusive adult. This is not stuff you bounce back from easily.

Again, if people are not allowed to peacefully protest (that includes outside the fascists’ churches and houses), then there’s no encouragement of good behavior and logically they will move to things like bombing anti choice organizations; “a riot is the language of the unheard.” This would be a rational argument with opposition which wants to deescalate, but all Republicans are sadists and bullies, so they WANT an excuse to hurt people while proclaiming themselves deeply aggrieved.

Just it’s depressing that our society exists to cater to landlords, police, fundamentalists and other rich people.

I should have died in the 70s or 80s; we’d all be much better off, me especially. But I didn’t, and even if I definitely had the backbone to kill myself (which I probably don’t, I’m shit) I’m not allowed to. So I am trying to do okay even if I fail dismally.

The neighbors above me and next apartment over are having one of their "yay it's sometime at the start of other peoples' workweek" parties again

and although I generally consider calling the pigs on anyone to be completely dishonorable behavior, something to resort to only when desperate, if this goes after midnight I *am* calling in a noise complaint.

#drawing today, fantasy RPG portraits.

I left a voicemail for both of my senators and was really angry and I feel pretty bad about that. I think I’m going to give up on calling them for a while.

Oh yeah because 1) NOW our pathetic Senate has to move their bustle at top speeds in a way they never can for us mere yids, darkies, and trannies and 2) ah yes more police, the sure fire way to defuse protests.

Durrrrr, “Vadm” is Vice Admiral. This is a navy ship. I kept parsing this as short for “Vladimir,” because I’m addled.

Teenage me would have been so completely stoked about Blue Öyster Cult. Songs about Elric would have been as awesomer than the “Dungeoneer’s Survival Guide”. Sadly teenage me didn’t get to explore music and thus it’s somewhat less awesome much later in life.

Again noting reporting bias; you're being told, or not told, what someone thinks will emotionally involve you. This isn't necessarily bad - I want to interact with people after all - but merits some skepticism when you get to things like Twitter or Instagram algorithms. I *want* to say that solves towards bad on big national scale but that feels like it's too pat a judgment.

Addendum;

Part of my childhood was a lot of the inconsistency *especially* as regards power differences. If someone was good looking or played football, a different set of rules applied to them and they could screw with my life but good. The adult world - so we're talking about the 80s - could devastate the environment, let AIDS go out of control, push their religion, and push us towards nuclear annihilation, and they were saints for doing it. Etc etc. And it's motivated by the same sort of thing as we're seeing now - someone wants what they want, they make it happen over any consistency or objection through sheer power, and they push it as good (because that's what they truly believe).

Thus, my buttons about authority, favoritism, power, elitism etc have been seriously pressed again and again lately - so what's useful here is for me to remember that that nobody's actually being punished for being bad (these are selfish people and their selfishness harms everyone), and that I can control some other parts of my life.

#drawings today, an Imperial Guard officer leads her command through a cornfield (reading late 80s White Dwarf didn’t have any effect on me, really! And two adventurers sneak into an evil temple.

My childhood experience being bullied is;

Bully harms and ridicules me, so either 1) I stay calm and take it, which implies that I am terrible and invites more mistreatment or 2) attempt to push back a little bit, which invites more mistreatment or 3) escalate to violence, which definitely gets me hurt, which might get them to stop, and also gets me labeled a horrifying vicious psychopath.

I consider all Republicans/conservatives to be bullies, and I feel we've seen all three reactions from those of us who aren't fucking fash assholes.

While I hate the situation and all fucking Republicans, I *am* glad I know what buttons are being pushed and hope it'll help me step back from making myself unhappy.