Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

I'M INFERIOR? WHO'S INFERIOR?
YEAH, YOU BETTER CHECK THE INTERIOR OF THE SYSTEM WHO CARES ABOUT ONLY ONE CULTURE AND THAT
IS WHY WE GOTTA TAKE THE POWER BACK!

#drawing today, some sort of tyrannosaurid chases a retro vehicle through the desert and the passenger attempts to fire a LAW at them!

Art of Noise - Close (To The Edit) Version 1 (ZTPS 01) https://youtu.be/-sFK0-lcjGU via @YouTube

oh YEAH it's time for the Mindless Destruction theme tune!

another phrase you can sing in place of "red red wine" is "anal beads"

There is no hope! There is no reward for being a good scout here! The rich and powerful broke the system, and they’re never going to stop making everything worse! Just how bad by comparison, can it be to spend money you don’t really have?

Something eating me today was a post on Twitter about the need to save money and not splurge on fursuits or cons. And I hate to be completely irresponsible but frankly, the social contract has been intentionally broken. Why try to save when it’s only going to go to landlords, inflation and insurers? Why not get cons and fursuits before you die thanks to Republican fueled hate crime, effects of unacknowledged climate change or the next pandemic? What’re you holding out for, a house?

Got a “pistachio apricot croissant” from the froo froo bakery near here. I didn’t know there was such a thing as a “pistachio apricot croissant” but I’ll see if I like it.

More fairly unfinished #drawings from the last couple of weeks. Bullywug rogue, half orc fighter type, wolf anthro in a jacket; Norse axeman, beastman/broo with axe; another Norse fighter type and some sort of Underdark opponent.

So let’s post #drawings from the last two weeks since it’s been so rough I skipped doing it for a while. Dragonborn wizard and rogue or possibly ranger, gnoll wizard or sorcerer with barbarian, and an adventuring party tackles a giant.

Let’s try reposting last night’s #drawings only with expressing less burnout. Dragonborn fighter or paladin vs githyanki, adventurer vs undead riding immense undead spider.

Another potential “tripping hazard” with self worth is; what I do bolsters my sense of self (I draw, I explore, I try to support people, etc) so making me stuff my personality down more or sticking me with a huge bill means I feel less “I am a person who does [whatever],” more “I’m an out of control monster” when I get angry as response to having agency taken away AND while feeling stuck, trapped and treading water, really difficult stuff for me.

Something making this harder is, I’m angrier about subtler injustices (I’ve read ~10 year olds get really upset about unfairness and there was a lot of trauma around then for me). Like I’m obviously going to be angry about surprise bills or TERFs showing up on my Twitter. But I’m also feeling more ADHD or general upset; my interests, personal space and time are officially unimportant, and stuff I don’t find fun or interesting, people who have no genuine interest in me, are all officially vital.

‘Course , this meant when there wasn’t someone around to tell me I was crap, I would be there to do it, when things sucked, and things sucked often.

The more practiced I get responding to stress with “this isn’t because I’m a shitty person,” the less I rely on counterproductive coping mechanism as response to harm or threat, the angrier I wind up feeling in response to the outside world. I’m then VERY tempted to go right back into self hate because I feel like an angry out of control monster.

Apparently this is one of the two parts of the book that really lodged in my brain. I’m thinking about this because the self hate which truly fucked with me for decades was a convenient reaction to shitty stuff happening to me; explained it, distracted me from discomfort, matched how I was told I was shitty, matched how I felt like an out of control monster while angry (about to come up again), and directed anger inwards where I wouldn’t be punished for it.

Remembering one of the first self help books I ever owned, now vanished in a move, Cheri Huber’s “There is Nothing Wrong with You.” It was literally reproduced handwritten/drawn pages. One talked about the origin of self hate and how you, the reader as a kid, naturally came to the conclusion that you must be doing something wrong otherwise the adults wouldn’t treat you this way, with a big drawing of a gong and the word MISTAKE! Plus an explanation that you wouldn’t have concluded anything else.

Completely the opposite of dark spin-off about traumatized kid getting to run around a huge mansion with Alfred being kind and encouraging, and the end of the story is he goes out and defends people not because he’s just a wreck but because he had these great experiences.

up early in the morning filking "Diggy Diggy Hole" to "Fucky Fucky Hole" about short bearded bear types using glory holes

naw, just kidding. I'm actually up with anxiety.

Metal Body https://youtu.be/ji2Rc9rL_co via @YouTube

this sounds so 90s, KEXP played this a while back

if I really felt it'd help much I'd try to join Kurt and Rob and Chris

she's there
in case I want at all
he's scared
because I want
she's there
in case I want at all
he's scared
because I want
all in all the clock is slow
six colored pictures all in a row
of a marigold