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okay, did everyone else find the Rancor Keeper sympathetic when he was intended as a fat joke?

(yes, I'm trying to get through job hunting today with soundtracks)

oh no, it's Captain Solo, and he's still mired in egregious bullshit! *jazz hands*

It would really be nice to have a Monday (or Tuesday, work week beginning) which didn't feel like immediately after my grandmother's funeral.

Okay. The interview I thought was at 11:30 was actually at 9. I discovered this via email with a link to join sent at 8:50.

* at the court of Henry VIII. Lord Warwicksexsset has just arrived with that "spectacled" helmet *

"Tis a present from his majesty the Emperor Maximillian I, my lord."
"Mayhap it be another codpiece?"

* unwraps *

"Um. 'Tis a most unique thing, methinks."
"He writes; "HEINIE! MEIN ALTER FREUND! Ich habs dieser Helm gefundet und I thought of YOU. Put it on! Doubtless the Scots shall quake in fear at your visage!"
"Good milord put this i' my Helmet Room and speak naught of this e'er again."

fine. I'll listen to it and feel crappy about a past relationship, fine.

those things they go away,
replaced by everyday.
nightswimming, remembering that night
September's coming soon
pining for the moon
and what if there were two
side by side in orbit, around the fairest sun?

I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad.

Listen, and understand. That drip brewer is out there. It doesn’t know pity, or remorse, or differences in grind. And it will not stop - EVER! - until you are wired!

“Foxes are legal there?”
“It’s legal to use foxes, it’s legal to buy foxes, and if you’re the proprietor of a fox bar it’s legal to sell foxes. It’s ILlegal to carry them but that doesn’t matter, cause get a load of this, if you get stopped by a cop in Amsterdam it’s illegal for them to search you.”
“Oh man I’m going, that’s it, I’m fucking going.”

1852 Amsterdam gov’t; okay we need a statue of Rembrandt van Rijn, something heroic with broad shoulders.

Cut to; the 1600s. Rembrandt van Rijn painting himself as a tired looking guy with a big nose and round cheeks.

German dungeon porn? What you mean like playing „Die Schwarzes Auge“?

Möchtest du RÜHE und ERHOLUNG? Warum nicht einen URLAUB in die Schweiz haben? Wir haben EINEN EISENBAHN! Was, möchtest du MEHR?

Reject [philosophy I don’t like], embrace [offering me cornbread and compliments about my appearance to gain my trust]

When I held aloft my generic 1d8 melee weapon I became… HE MAN! The most okay warrior in the universe and my faithful friend Cringer became… BATTLE COMPANION! Together with my mid-level friends we are… the EXPERIENCED JOURNEYMEN OF THE UNIVERSE!

What if you sold animal/mythically inspired outsized sex toys but, hear me out, we called them Animinsertables, and all the furry art on our site had that 90s EXTREEEEME aesthetic?

“Ah, but you see, Poirot is… comment-dit on? Baked, like a pain Au chocolat. Le stoned, out of mon crane.”

The Expanded Frogger Universe includes Orange County as well!

It’s not so much artificial intelligence as it is analog plagiarism

The opposite of smooth jazz is coarse jazz. As in “I hate jazz, it’s coarse and gets everywhere.”

coyote sing along lyrics, yelling 

some say she's from Mars
or one of the seven stars
that shine after 2:30 in the morning
WELL, SHE ISN'T!

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