Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

In 2.5 hours no matter what i can go home and I can snap rubber bands on my wrists to keep from self harm, and I can hop online to remain in contact with people, and I can set big value judgments of my worth aside because I know my perception is really biased by old messages.

There’s the sick feeling I missed this whole weekend. The certain knowledge that I’m complete shit.

More forest from Saturday.

Trying to feel better here are some forest photos from Saturday.

6th graded call was another completely new situation- caller not in database, checked all possible points of information, they turned out to be calling for a different line we handle, I was able to find them provide the number for that line. I’m sure this will be graded incredibly poorly, because I’m officially bad at this. Just gotta go through the rest of this process and tear hell out of my emotions further before they fire me and it is perfectly officially justified.

Also I hate how my IQ drops if I’m sufficiently scared and need all the intelligence, adaptability and focus I can throw together.

And of course the thing I need to do before my 6th and final practice call is I have to demonstrate understanding of this script in a questionnaire. Every button I have about being engineered to fail has been jumped on already this morning and it is likely to get worse so my apologies if I’m a completely unsympathetic wreck later today.

I love cats so much!… I mean not that you didn’t know that but it’s a lot nicer than some of the stuff in my head this morning.

Mega Drive - Neuroframe | FULL ALBUM | 2021 | https://youtu.be/0XcB8ePUXVM via @YouTube

#puyallup #frag #nuyen #sperethiel #chummer

nuyen Redmond Barrens monorail Stuffer Shack soy-cafe, chummer.

not wasting the opportunity to listen to the Bladerunner soundtrack again before the rain is replaced by *actual* futuristic dystopia weather #chummer

I can’t talk freely about it, but don’t think my silence means I’m NOT still angry about it.

I will not play “Guillotine” to;
* hum La Marseillaise off key
* hum Berlioz’s “March to the Scaffold” off key
* loudly declare LIBERTE FRATERNITE EGALITE!
* loudly declare LE FONTAINE DES SANG! if that card shows up

Shoutout to the weeping dude and the blanket-wrapped homeless dude outside the bookstore. Whoever you are, thank you for reminding me I’m not the only one feeling bad in what seemed like a sea of happy prosperous folks. I hope all of us have things better soon.

Gee, let’s try to make up for our country’s historical failings by unsubtly forcing the “everything’s great land of opportunity” party line that worked so great in the past. ‘Course like anything else rightwingers shit up, maybe you don’t care cause by the time fallout gets nasty you HAVE your money?

#drawing so far today, dwarf war priest with frost hammer and dwarf with repeating light crossbow vs owlbear.

driving yesterday, I misread "Sushi Bento" or possibly "Sushi and Bento" and now "Bushi Bento" is going to be a chain of cheap, not particularly Japanese restaurants in any cyberpunk game I run. What's more Seattle than teriyaki chicken?

let’s stare dazedly at the produce as though, were I but to buy the right veggies, suddenly summer would be a blissful haze of shared salads and talk until the sunlight fades

I like how as hobby interests, the model magazines are right next to the weed magazines. “WHOA dude. This is how I did a fuckton of chronic and modified a Gloster Gladiator specific to Britain’s campaign in Iraq. Duuuuude.”

as I come to the close of Chodron's "Comfortable with Uncertainty" one takeaway is;

life is full of loss, pain, sickness, threat. But life isn't ABOUT loss, pain, sickness, threat (or anything else for that matter). And if I spend all my time trying to fight off, mollify or avoid that loss, pain, sickness, and threat - that's not really the same as joy. That's granting these things way more importance than simply things that happen sometimes.