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Still in bad headspace, fixing my mistakes as fast as I can, can break down over this in an hour

Give me one good reason that I deserve to continue

Here comes the Angry Adult Because Things Were Not Adequately Explained/Jon’s an Inherent Moron Failure Who Can’t Focus and Fucks Up feelings again. Managed to face this and ask how to correct without overwhelm, YET.

Boss, I feel you’re upset at me for things which weren’t adequately explained where most of the upset is you’re incredibly busy.

This is being such a bad night for sleep.

what a crummy stressful long weekend, really.

"Dump Money Habits that Ruin Your Wallet"

oh! "stop living in Seattle" I knew that one!

Wow. Having just seen Into the Spiderverse I NOW understand how obsessing about Miguel O’Hara’s ass prevented spoilers.

Here’s some photos of trees in a huge park from last weekend because I’m profoundly upset rn.

Realized; I’m upset because this is what I’m weak to. Not things to learn, things to make or experience, but tasks to complete to avoid punishment and, once completed, there are more tasks.

I know you're gonna say "but that'd just be Robocop," but I honestly feel Paul Verhoeven, with Basil Poledouris soundtrack, about the Dark Judges showing up in Mega City 1, would be the best possible Judge Dredd movie.

Food photo, meat 

It’s been a while since I posted cooking. Here’s some Hainan style chicken I made with what chicken I could get cut price at the store.

okay, can I listen to "Take Me Down" without tearing up in public?

Nope.

fine, if it's gonna be THAT way, I may as well lean into it, and listen to "Fast Car," "Two Coffins" and "Kitty."

mood's moved to "I just wish I could die and get it done and over with" so I should wrap up and get some food.

It's always perspective to hear a small child have a complete meltdown. When you're 4, you're still feeling out things like having emotions, and you do NOT know that this isn't the only time you can get to play in this playroom, or that there might be other brownies to eat, etc, and it would be really easy for the adult around to really lose it and slam down. Everyone born human is potentially on a collision course with completely terrible emotional baggage.

Years ago, I worked in a payroll department. NOBODY calls payroll because they're happy. Sometime after that I was the point person for a small call center, and I thought people calling about furniture would be less upset than people calling about paychecks.

I suspect where people can MOST get upset lies somewhere in between the urgent - where most energy is going to resolve the issue - and the personally unimportant. Like sofas. Getting mustard. And what kicked this off, WH40K.

coyote sing along hour, all caps, aaaaaangst 

I'M YOUR LOVER! I'M YOUR ZERO!
I'M THE FACE IN YOUR DREAMS OF GLASS!
SO SAVE YOUR PRAYERS FOR WHEN YOU'RE REALLY GONNA NEED 'EM
THROW OUT YOUR CARES AND FLY,
WANNA GO FOR A RIDE?

Time to tackle more administrativa, and listen to the Smashing Pumpkings and feel bad that I'm old, the 90s are long gone and there is exactly no hope.

Scotland Yard concluded the source as a small shiny bag of “Cool Ranch Mesquite Flavor Fritos” found some 30’ from the impact crater, which noted author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has since proposed to be some form of chips.

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After 1884 saw the tragic death of little Alesteir Neville Brightley-Smyth, parents taught their children to be wary of anyone who might in fact *be* a time traveler.

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