Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Realizing that like everyone else I’ll want to follow more proficient artists, which solves towards more technical skill and professional status, which could become reasons to beat myself up.

Oh and there’s more and more I keep forgetting like how I lost a friend in June, how my mother is probably on her way out, etc. 2023 hasn’t been one of my easiest years, at least not yet.

I don’t especially see myself as fey, despite having played a selchi online and unrelatedly used “Vodyanoi” for a different character, but the pronouns fae/faer really appeal to me at some level and I kinda want to try them sometime.

okay, apparently I am pretty stressed at a consistent low level - which tallies with unemployment, family stuff, new temp job, recently raised rent, record heat as an indicator of climate change, my dreams of professional art vanishing more than usual, and the omnipresent threat of the right/far right.

Pretty much everyone I know comments on how we were "supposed to" get more conservative as we aged but went the other direction.

What I find ironic is the stereotypical old guy is supposed to be profoundly pissed off the world moved left, thanks to The Kids. I find I have stereotypical unresolved anger because the world has moved RIGHT- practicality and decency suggests changes further left of *me*, and yet The Rich decided that the world needs to be even more their profit machine and made everything so much worse.

I went around to the side, and I peeked through the crack
I thought I saw an old man lying flat on his back
if old man Mose was dead or asleep, I did not know;
but after one lookin' through that window, ugh!
I ain't gonna do it no more

for the things in the chair were THE FACE AND HANDS OF HENRY WENTWORTH AKELEY!

now on some dark and stormy night
while the tempest blows
if someone whistles
well that's Mysterious Mose
AND PRAY YOU DO NOT MEET HIM IN ANY OF HIS OTHER THOUSAND FORMS
FOR HE IS NYARLATHOTEP
THE CRAWLING CHAOS

it's practically about to be Halloween, you say?

with his long white beard and a crooked staff
he walks all 'round while the folks all laugh
with a twinkle in his eye he will pass them by
AND PRAY YOU DO NOT MEET HIM IN ANY OF HIS OTHER THOUSAND FORMS
FOR HE IS NYARLATHOTEP
THE CRAWLING CHAOS

My BALLS feel like a pair of maracas
My BALLS feel like a pair of maracas
I probably got the
gono-cocco-coccus
My BALLS feel like a pair of maracas, ay yi yi!
WHY does it
WHY does it
WHY does it
HURT!
WHEN!
I!
PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Hopefully my clever idea doesn't backfire on me.

I usually sleep badly the night before a new job (temp or perm) and tonight I woke up at 6ish and couldn't get back to sleep, so my initial plan to clean up the area by the window where I can mount the intake/output pipe for this little A/C unit, became actually putting the pipe into place and testing the A/C out. So far it works okay, and now my problem is going into the temp job low on sleep after doing something intense.

#drawing today

When That Man Is Dead And Gone https://youtu.be/XRRBKfqhem0 via @YouTube

realizing that my upbringing as regards sexuality was such that no matter what my sexuality actually was or what happened next it proved I was a terrible person.

oh, going to live music performances! That's something you do if you can just drop $35-50 on stuff which isn't groceries, gas, or having a $75 monthly increase to reflect how desirable your location apparently is!

yessssss

strike me down with your angerrrr

I can feel it

and because I am so eeeeeevil

I'm going to keep talking to you like thisssssss

heh heh heh heh

I'M YOUR LOVER
I'M YOUR ZERO
I'M THE FACE IN YOUR DREAMS OF GLASS
SO SAVE YOUR PRAYERS FOR WHEN YOU'RE REALLY GONNA NEED 'EM
THROW OUT YOUR CARES AND FLY
WANNA GO FOR A RIDE?
AAAAAANGST!

moved to the other side of Barnes and Noble from the small child coughing without covering their mouth

I'm sure they don't have The Thing, but I would like to drink coffee and look at toy soldiers I can't afford without feeling nervous.

ni zukh mir nit by mirtyn grinnen
dort finst mir nisht mayn lieber schatz
arbeiter schveten by maschinen
dortin is mayn ruhe plats

there ain't no air and there ain't no light
and there ain't no way to make it out alive
his weddin' was planned for the fifth of July
but Jessie got trapped in the coal mine,
never did marry his girl
down down under West Virginia
down down in the pitch back earth
down down underneath she cried
"my love is somewhere in that mountain."