Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Maybe progress. Job hunting did not make me think about killing myself this morning, it merely made me feel angry and scared.

it's not good per se, but it is reassuring (this couldn't be my failure in any way) to get an "after careful consideration we decided to go with other candidates" email about an hour or two after I apply for the job.

HOT TAKE: if you'd never been exposed to Star Trek and therefore only seen photos of Leonard Nimoy without Spock's distinctive ears and haircut, you would parse him as either a tech CEO or possibly a Nick Cave/Johnny Cash style musician

seriously look at this dude. This looks like a man who's gonna sing you a ballad about Bilbo Baggins...

... wearing a duster, coming into town on the evening express, and gambling for people's souls.

In 2017 I worked for someone who was straight up a narcissistic abuser. Since I don't question this WAS abuse intended to break me down, I can actually use it as reference for how fucking bad childhood really was that way.

AD: at Amica insurance, we know this isn't a house. we know...

ME: In fact we'll tell you reasons why it isn't, right when you need to pay for something.

AD: "Did you know the same API which can do this can do this? And... this? And... this?"

ME: "AND EVEN THIS! I'M AN ADUUUUUUUULT!"

added kochujang directly into the fried rice while cooking it, why NOT really?

I just got past a crapton of childhood programming to avoid people and wallow in self hate because damnit I had mead and wanted to draw?

I think largely independent of everything else going on. I honestly just want reassurance that given everything I had in my childhood I am actually doing relatively OK to be single childless with no career poor with the college degree that never went anywhere.

Imagine as many annoying bumper stickers and t shirts as right wingers have about guns, flags, and morality but about weird hyper fixations

ONE MAN ONE SHAY/ONE HEISLER

G-D GRIT AND GEAR ENGINES MADE AMERICA GREAT

Weird wanting to make something really COOL but feeling completely incapable of making compelling porn, or anything that doesn’t look shitty and amateurish.

I don't know why I'm so torn up inside my mind
the darkness, it swallows me whole.

It makes me sick to be so mean
from what I've been, and what I've seen!
From top to bottom I am obscene!

It stands in my place!
It spits in my face!
It's shame, shame!
It's shame!

#drawings today largely inspired by Yoshida Brothers and Sato Masaru.

honestly I should delete my account here

honestly I should delete myself, actually

neither of these is likely to happen. Oh well.

my 1200 phone screen never called, so of course I called the company, found out they were in a meeting, left message (with someone with a very heavy accent - surely the entire company isn't entirely Romanians?) and will keep the phone line open for a bit

I wish I had a fursuit! I wish I had a future! I wish I were a cute girl! I wish I belonged to a more accepted minority group! I wish I had enough money to take the Coast Starlight as part of a vacation! I wish I'd used the last of the potatoes in these mashed potatoes!

okay so is it;

Skeletor is Taskmaster but at Pride

or is it;

Taskmaster is Skeletor cosplaying as Cable

https://youtu.be/ur9V0W8G3NA?si=TZzV8QWbnmJx_2RN

*scratches furiously behind ear*

it's a real pity the Wachowski Sisters never used the Yoshida Brothers for the soundtrack to any of the Matrix movies

okay, I've given up trying to go off on leavened bread - this wasn't going to last but I was hoping to make it to the weekend. holy shit this is a REALLY GOOD CROISSANT.