oh yeah, it's time, I'm feeling the holiday spirit *sits bolt upright and scowls*
here's Danny trying to be Schostakovich AND SUCCEEDING
journaling
When I first started seriously considering I might have ADHD my question was well, do I have ADHD or CPTSD because some stuff is common to both. Lately I've been realizing that the ADHD re-enforces the CPTSD and vice versa.
Really spotted today; emotional dysregulation from either source means things that are frustrating become FRUSTRATING!!1! Obviously the faster I can walk back FRUSTRATING!!1! to frustrating, not insurmountable, is important to avoid the angry meltdown I fear because that'd get me punished (and/or set off even more hypervigilence, with the intensity ramped up).
But; hypervigilence is holding onto fear, because you can't afford to let anything be less than absolutely vital, and if fear isn't itself frustrating it sure sets that up easily.
It's not like weepiness, the other big expression of emotional volubility, or f'goodness' sake joy, wasn't something which would be immediately spotted and punished back there.
I usually really like big Astartes walkers which are what if basically dude in power armor but now with even bigger power armor.
However I am LOSING IT at the engraved groin plate on the Grey Knights Nemesis Dreadknight. It looks like a Holy Diaper! You’re being attacked by an Assault Babyfur! “Perfidus purgator! Brother Ezekiah, we are surrounded by Tyrannids and I need a nap and want my blankie!”
don't just open that blister pack of old pewter minis from 1988, use your hobby knife to cut a small opening and let the air slowly circulate, lest inhaling it send you into retro gaming coma in which you insist And Justice for All was the best album ever and want to get more Adeptus Titanicus minis
fiending for Snarfquest and wanting to know whatever happened to Raistlin anyway
oh also And Justice for All is still one of the best albums ever.
politics in general
related; I think the horseshoe theory of politics is specious bullshit. People are people regardless of political ideology and some of them WILL try to coerce moving in lockstep; centrists, with "clearly we're the rational ones, and you'd be a dangerous idiot to think differently" are no exception.
Although I do suspect that further left and right both feel there's strength in emotional appeal - that at the end of the day, it's better to be someone whose convictions have an emotional resonance beyond high-handed personal intellectual superiority, especially when there's something "real" at stake from self-congradulatory compromise.
two thumpers are planted
the worm may not rise for the first, he will rise for the second. do not get too close, the sand will engulf you
when he first approaches you must be utterly still and place the hook firmly under a ring segment. the worm will turn away from the abrasive sand and will take you with it to the top
... not stoned, just felt like watching that part of the movie and quoting it.
new slang when you notice the stripes
dirt in your fries
hope it's right when you die, old and bony
dawn breaks like a bull through the hall
never should have called
but my head's to the wall and I'm lonely
and if you took to me now like a
gull takes to the wind
well I'da jumped from my trees
and I'd have danced like the Queen of the Assholes
and the rest of our lives would've fared well
in the red you're better off dead
better off dead
better than the red dead sea
promise it to me, promise me the sea
people the people
big bellies banging bigger drums
they beat down on you
they beat the pulse into your shoes
shoes are made for walking you to shores of other seas
see the seas oh see the seas
that you've seen on the big screen
Lots of random gunk, but some drawings and cooking talk too. Obsesses about DnD and related topics. Left-leaning/profoundly frustrated politics. Black lives matter; trans rights are human rights.
Occasionally NSFW art and discussion, please do follow if you're 18+.