Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

CBT is informing me that there are plenty of things I get right because nothing is a quick toggle switch, and that I don't in fact know what the future holds.

However, this isn't getting my brain to shut up about how I get everything wrong and how, as a function of what a shit excuse for a person I am, I'm going to wind up as isolated as I deserve to be.

Plan is to shower, dump myself into clothes, get on the road to *somewhere*, and worry about getting enough sleep later.

This week have the Nornir declared my thread has not yet spun out! IT IS MY WYRD TO READ COMIC BOOKS YET! WOULD YOU KNOW MORE?

* blasts March of the Varangian Guard, Odin Owns Ye All and The Fire Dragon (track from 13th Warrior) in quick succession *

okay, this old Simonson back issue I bought Sunday OWNS

the Odinson has just climbed to Hlidskjalf, where he summons Angrboda, mother of monsters, to tell him how he might ride at the head of an army of Einherjar to dread Nastrond, past the river Gjoll

I am having such a fucking nerdgasm right now, it really helped me shake off how fucking angry I was a moment ago.

THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER BOUGHT FOR $1

okay, this old Simonson back issue I bought Sunday OWNS

the Odinson has just climbed to Hlidskjalf, where he summons Angrboda, mother of monsters, to tell him the way to dread Nastrond, past the river Gjoll

I am having such a fucking nerdgasm right now, it really helped me shake off how fucking angry I was a moment ago.

http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/380050-trump-bans-most-transgender-americans-from-serving-in-the-military

called Rep, called Senators. Geez thanks pigfelcher. [remainder of angry rant redacted in favor of practicing sword drills]

Got legit enraged by someone’s thread about the 2016 election over on Twitter. Still calming down. Today’s been better than the prior 3 days, and I hope that having checked over my sketchbook from the last month, I now have a better idea of what I got wrong, what to study next. 40 minutes and I can go home.

Were I the President and the former Vice President was on about beating me up, I would rent a huge venue for the ensuing public boxing match, sell a crap ton of tickets and merchandise and dump that money into the NPS or DOE.

This thinking explains why I’m not the President.

#introductions

I’m Chaya, or Jon. I’ve been steadily learning to draw and paint, and really love forests, beaches, D&D and movie soundtracks. PTSD and some really bad indoctrination plays out in depression, anxiety and insomnia, but I’m trying to work on myself as well. In case you were wondering, I’m a furry fan, Therian, and leftist.

If you post cat pics I will probably respond with li’l heart emoji.
https://awoo.space/media/rroW0uUeCgH_beV8ZDA
https://awoo.space/media/5ZI-_SZ_OZpOSDLFwt4
https://awoo.space/media/oXr-tT7wadlmBnPWsFQ

13th Warrior/How to Train Your Dragon fanfic. Discuss?

(This courtesy of this morning’s soundtrack and remembering how the first time I saw HTTYD, I was *really baked*, and kept expecting it to become the end of Beowulf.)

Then I was leaving my old high school after some sort of errand. I needed the bathroom and the only one I could find which wasn't full, was by the main entrance. My old principal spotted me, told me I'd need to sign in/badge in/clear thumbprint ID at the little airlock/security area AGAIN. This was too much for dream-me; I told secretary/security "somehow you guys managed to become worse fascists than when I went here," got into my car, and Tweeted angrily before driving off.

I was riding a smaller horse (like a fjord or tarpan) through traffic, and I *got* it. I got riding. I knew how to move with the momentum to change directions and reach stuff in pockets at speed. I knew this was because previously I'd tried to do it and every movement felt like I was going to fall off.

omg will you look at this #NotMyArt https://lionrae.tumblr.com/post/168750301124/small-gif-i-animated-for-class#notes

what should I focus on first tomorrow?

1) practicing imagining folds in fabric without reference

2) cool monsters

3) overall scenes I'd thumbnailed while listening to Peturbator

in this episode Kirk faces off against a Giant Space Toilet which is capable of flushing entire planets! IT HAS THE ENTERPRISE IN SOME SORT OF TRACTOR BEAM!

Furry male stuff, with eeee reck shuns. NSFW unless you work in the Castro or something.
https://awoo.space/media/IAHsptL4G13NF1BgCvk

#DnD #drawings
https://awoo.space/media/2j6dYHDRVurhWGMNHqI
https://awoo.space/media/DjPtrM0NIP4dQYWvPSM

A song my grandma used to sing

A chunk of a novelization of Norse myth which I read in high school or early in college.

Do you ever want to tell someone you love them, more because saying it feels good?

I feel pretty bad right now but am stuck here treading water for 4.5 more hours or so.

I just want to be someone competent and capable. Or to fucking die and get it done and over with.

KNIGHTS! SQUIRES! TURKEY LEG VENDORS AND THAT DUDE WHO SELLS GARLIC FRIES! TO ARMS!

#OFortuna