Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

So today I scrambled all over cave rock and badly banged my ankle and hopefully didn’t wander through poison oak but my friend is super allergic and therefore super cautious and therefore I am now sitting in their living room in my boxers waiting for my pants/shirt/hoodie to get through the laundry.

How’re you doing?

Slurpee, goddess of convenience stores. “Oh great Slurpee, grant us shitty dilute coffee that we may take this roadtrip.”

High quality jackal-pants

A while back I was reading about the perennially valid question “were Viking age Scandinavians racist?” (I don’t think they cared.) One neat thing I ran into is they referred to dark skinned people in Spain as “blue” - and that sounds like a reference to veil color or how veils could dye skin a little! They very specifically met Berbers! I think that’s cool anyway.

Spent $10 on high-quality entertainment (is it sad that I will lunge towards anything that looks like Simonson art?).
https://awoo.space/media/A7XSSahr6VydvE7FDtA

Ok so I’m showered, dressed, am getting coffee and a breakfast sandwich, refreshed an ancestor offering. Gonna put on The Sword and head south.

do I; grab a short nap or throw myself into the shower/into clothes/out of the house immediately?

additionally just because the phrase "sick little fetish" has the same scansion as "my little pony," this does NOT imply ponyplay by default.

I want to talk about all sorts of things and I can't come up with coherent phrasing.

Have a lewd adjacent joke, inspired by the "your sick little fetish!" clip on a porny tumblr of uh.... blowjobs? I mean admittedly the lights were on.

for a valid YOUR SICK LITTLE FETISH you need to include both uppercase and lowercase letters, animal noises, at least one element of costume, and it can't be something obvious like your birthday. "Fetish" is right out.

It's like the parable where the monk explains heaven and hell to a samurai, but with closing Twitter.

Made myself do a big #drawing today to loosen up.
https://awoo.space/media/IpVr6Xf2U7dfhKpMDp0

"SPICY MISO" FLAVOR IN NAME ONLY

FOR IT IS NEITHER *dumps in shoyu and ichimi togarashi*

HULLATHOIN. This is basically an undead APC, an immense long-fallen beast protected by clouds of carrion flies which rupture from its flesh and disgorging zombie troops from its insides. Goofy yet creeptastic right?

But what really pushes the concept to glory is there isn't a whole and healthy version of the original animal around, eating adventurers. Nobody has any clue where necromancers are getting these giant hairless wolverine looking bodies.

re last boost, @thefishcrow@cybre.space are you seeing this?

oooofgh

it's so good not to have anyone's body practically *in* my space anymore. That I didn't feel I could say anything, let alone slam my elbow down on the dude's knee, suggests that I might want to rethink wanting to try living in NYC, but that I'd be a pretty good fit for Britain.

This concludes today’s jaunt into “awesome yet goofy monsters.”

BONUS MENTION: KISHI. Angolan folk monsters, Kishi don’t show up in D&D or movies and they probably should. Up front they’re a staggeringly handsome dude, but turn the head around, and they have a hyena head which eats you. Badass!

TAKO. Instead of “an octopus,” D&D yields “a cyclopean land-going octopus which can wield weapons in all eight arms.”

FLUMPF. A good aligned flying jellyfish which is helpless when flipped over and which sprays opponents with gastric acid.

DRACOLISK. Idk how a dragon and a basilisk safely interact enough to have kids, outside Tapestries, but when they do, it makes dracolisks. It’s like the parents hooked up entirely in hopes the kids would kill PCs someday.

FLAIL SNAIL. It’s a snail with mace heads where snails carry their sensory apparatus and they hit adventurers with ‘em, kerPOW!

HOAR FOX. There is actually nothing particularly terrible about this gorgeous animal which freezes your PC with its minty fresh breath. Except the name. If you play D&D with furries and face a hoar fox, expect the game to stall for 20-30 minutes of jokes about vulpine stereotypes. Sheesh.

DUERGAR. The gray dwarves are grim enemies of dwarf-kind - and everyone else, because their bleak lives hold naught beyond warfare, torture, fungus beer, spider rides and brutalist architecture.

Awesome. But 4e made them REALLY DOOFY.

D&D has these nasty bearded devils- they scratch victims with Brillo pad like beards. A Duergar/bearded devil is a terrible foe. In 4e Duergar all have this fiendish heritage so they SHOOT THEIR BEARD HAIR AT YOU.

MAEDAR. Ever wonder what a *guy* Medusa is like? D&D has your answer; golden-skinned Yul Brynner. When a medusa turns your PC to stone her maedar boyfriend (nice gender essentialism y’got there) PUNCHES the statue back into big blocks of meat.

VARGOUILLE. This is a really nasty flying head. If it bites your PC, their head will become a flying monster and flap away on its ears.