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why is 99% of academic writing incomprehensible gibberish hieroglyphs from another planet

oooh look at meee i'm using tons of fancy neologisms half of which i made up myself in order to look intellectual, wrapped in impossibly complex syntax also fuck anyone who hasnt read this huge canon of books amirite

*10 seconds later*

i dont know why nobody interacts with our work or why we're working in complete obscurity being ignored this is a crime against humanity

@Ludonaut if anyone could read it why would they bother to pay out that grant?

@Ludonaut if I didn't write it this way it'd be obvious to everyone that I stole this work from the public and it's actually 10 years old, and/or of dubious usefulness / truthfulness!!

@Ludonaut as a person who's been doing research for 15 years, I have feelings about having to deal with PhDs and their ideas...

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