Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

@clipclopboom@snouts.online I get the feeling that although you've bee railroaded into this circumstance, you're going to find that opening up about your needs and abilities to a professional will more than likely yield a desired result that brings no real satisfaction. At least not for this month.
Vindication, sure. But nobody likes to go into a situation convinced that everyone else is the Asshole, only to find out They're the problem.

And I think she's gonna find out that she's mistreating you.

@clipclopboom@snouts.online And... Well, You both know that right now is when Charity and Equality are most important. You both know that to feel Secure in your presentation, your Spirit and your Reality need to be Aligned.

With the Empress inverted, and the Priestess ahead of you... Well, one of those women is going to have to Budge, and I'm pretty sure I know which one.
Be prepared for the Therapist to focus strongly on your Wife, and the conflicts that result.

@clipclopboom@snouts.online Guiding you through this time is a reminder to keep the natural cycles of the world foremost in your head, and how those cycles have been disrupted.
The Empress inverted as the foundation of the conflict tells me that the Real World effects of the Feminine aren't aligned with you, and you're reeling under that pressure.

How does Alicorn feel about this overall situation? He's the Knight of Swords.
He seems Done with fighting, but doesn't know what to Do when there isn't conflict.

@clipclopboom@snouts.online To me that says that you've had an emotional new beginning recently, that your pleasures and desires are being opposed by practicalities and Money, and that the new challenge is going to be knowing, embracing, and discovering the sacred feminine, and all that it Means.

But the outcome will leave you feeling unsatisfied. On top of that, You're tired of fighting, and you know that the fighting is because your partner doesn't want to share the load evenly.

@brushy@snouts.online Kerithe: Look, I used to be one of the Bad Guys(tm) because of what our mom did. So, uh, feels. Most of my friends got the Bad Touch from the catholic church, I got screwed up by a cult of the Goddess and the alcoholic therapists who hung out in my mom's space.

Gave me a Really Bad idea of what a Woman is, and a lot of that had to be Deprogrammed.

But yeah, take a break, and we'll get a chance to hang out in person sometime and compare Notes. I think a lot of us are in the same situation, and need some kind of clear path forward.

@brushy@snouts.online Well... I've identified as Herm for 12 years now. And even before that, my Mom identified me as something More than male.

Spent my 20s running from that TBH. And now that I'm open to explorations of what that really Means, I found that it's WAY more complex than I'd even considered.

The upside though? Kerithe came to me last year almost... Over-developed. And having your personality and desires and even Body Image change up on you several times a Day when it's bad and I'm stressed...

Well, it can really screw with other people when I go from a clinically depressed Blob straight to a cheerful and slightly disoriented Woman just so I'm not depressed anymore. And that's without a change of clothes.

It can feel like you're straight out of a Stephen King story written by Neil Gaiman.

@brushy@snouts.online Thank you. I'm still trying to figure it out, and the best way I've found is to just Disregard any aspect of the experience that's Bought In A Store.

But nobody could tell me what it meant to be born Male, and a Witch when I was fourteen, and still nobody can.

@brushy@snouts.online Yeah, I'm suspecting I have partial androgen insensitivity syndrome. I was seriously overweight for most of my life, and Uhhh...

Well, Not extremely physically Male.

@brushy@snouts.online It's... Well, I know the body that I want, I know what the side effects are, and...

to be Honest, I Earned a goddamn gold plated Man Card already, and I'm angry that we live in a society where you can't just Be masculine. It's like a goddamn performance art, and I just wanted respect on a Practical level. Not there to be had, so I'm gonna go with what I always knew I was, but was embarrassed about in an age where Girl meant 'Guy IRL' online. :\

@brushy@snouts.online I've been feeling like HRT might be a good idea for me, but I've felt alienated from the whole Trans Thing for years because I felt like it had to come with all the Other stuff.

And even the personality system in my head who Identifies as a Woman isn't interested in the mainstream american idea of what a Woman is, or as Passing as that.

And yet when flipped around, Tohri doesn't identify as a Man by those standards either, and is tired of trying to pass as one. It's exhausting.

So I didn't want to just trade one form of social expectation for another, and I didn't want to have to Lie to a therapist just to get a medication I want to try. At the same time, most of my friends are transfeminine and expressing Joy at the changes in their lives.

It's been great having nonbinary people to talk to here on mastodon, though. I'm still not sure if I want to go that direction, but it's nice feeling that I could, and still have a presentation and identity I Like.

I just don't want to make a big Fuss, change my name and pronouns, and get angry at people for not respecting them.

@clipclopboom@snouts.online The empress reversed is as bad as the Hierophant reversed. Your knowledge and faith in the Feminine has been under attack and it's hard to hear that internal, feminine voice you've been striving towards.

When stuff shows up Reversed in a celtic cross, you need to look at ways to turn that card right side up in your life.
And your Family needs to know about your issues, and Help, instead of telling you that you're Wrong.

@brushy@snouts.online Feel ya on that one.

@clipclopboom@snouts.online Keri: She come up right side up or upside down?

@ratbite666 Green Light.